|Current mood:|| sick|
|Current music:||amy mann, MAGNOLIA SOUNDTRACK|
yesterday and today
almost broke up w/ bf yesterday, he got angry and jealous over something for no reason. he was soo mad and i was soooooooo depressed. ate eveything so today going to try to starve. hate myself wanna die, don't have enopugh guts to shoot myself and thats the only thing that works. wish some one would comment on my journals, feel so fat , ugly and alone. not good combination. need somone to talk to relate to. feel sooo stupid because i'm needy. just want to curl up in my fetal position and disapear forever. life has been soo evil to me. like i'm being punished by something and i don't even believe in any form of god or goddessess. just myself and death. so sad, so worthless, so pathetic, i'm whining to my fake internet journal. it can't get any worse than my life is now. death would be peaceful. but i just can't seem to do it right not like i haven't tried and been in the hospital for it. but thats the tyhing i was in the hospital on a breathing machine and not in a funeral home getting my makeup done. i feel such pity for myself, just sitting here having a pity party for myself, well thats enough bullshit,i have to shut up now .