|Current music:||the warmth-incubus|
The first thing Charlie says to me this morning is that he got Incubus' "make yourself" cd this weekend. Now this was strange, because so did i. I was like, wow. And then he said that his favorite song on the album was "the warmth." This was also strange, because it was my favorite, too. I was like, wow. So anyway, i miss Kyle, but i figure Andrew was right and i am better off without him. I mean, he does this to me every time. And it's true, he basically does only think about himself. He told me that he had changed, and i trusted him. I thought he had. but i guess i was wrong. All i know is i'm not eating anymore of the shit he's been feeding to me.
x. my father thinks i am: he forgets. he told me that he forgets what i look like. he probably forgets who i am, too.
x. my mother thinks i am: raised wrong
x. my sister thinks i am:
x. my brother thinks i am: white trash
x. my grandma thinks i am : wrong
x. my best friends think i am: suicidal? obviously? stupid?
x. your three best qualities: i just showered?
x. three worst qualities: smelly, boring, unmotivated
x. three things you are often complimented for: sometimes someone will like compliment my shirt or something. or maybe once in a while my hair.
x. a compliment you got that made you blush: "fuck them, you're perfect in my eyes"
x. you get embarrassed when: i cry in public
x. makes you happy: music
x. upsets you: kyle
Y e s O r N o. . .
x. you keep a diary: i'd prefer to call it a journal
x. you like to cook: occasionally, depends on my mood. normally if i'm upset.
x. you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: ...not sure, i don't think there's anything i really haven't told Sheilah
x. you fold your underwear: no
x. you talk in your sleep: no
x. you set your watch a few minutes ahead: no, but i set my clock like twelve minutes late so i don't miss the bus
x. you believe in love: yes
L a s t . . .
x. movie you rented: Empire Records (wow that was a while ago)
x. movie you bought: me personally? I have no idea, probably Loser. That was a real while ago.
x. song you listened to: stairway to heaven by led zeppelin
x. song that was stuck in your head: i don't remember
x. song you've downloaded: clue a haven't i. wait, yeah, i downloaded i wish you were here& stellar by incubus, but they were the music videos.
x. CD you bought: make yourself&science by incubus (bought at the same time)
x. CD you listened to: make yourself
x. person you've called: kyle...
x. person that's called you: i think amanda.
x. TV show you've watched: ....i watched a few movies today, but i haven't watched tv shows since... days ago
x. person you were thinking of: unfortunately kyle.
D o . . .
x. you wish you could live somewhere else: yes, most of the time
x. you think about suicide: i think about a lot of things
x. others find you attractive: no
x. you want more piercings: yes
x. you want more tattoos: yes
x. you drink: occasionally.
x. you do drugs: no
x. you smoke: no
x. you like cleaning: hardly
x. you like roller coasters: no
x. you write in cursive or print: print
x. you carry a donor card: no
x. you have a crush on somebody: no
[my name is]: jess
[in the morning i am]: stupid, stumbly, shitty and unmotivated.
[all i need is]: love
[love is]: all i need.
[im afraid of]: getting hurt again
[i dream about]: a better place
- H A V E .Y O U. E V E R -
[pictured your crush naked?]:no
[actually seen your crush naked]: no
[had sex]: no
[made love]: no
[been in love]: i guess i couldn't have been.
[cried when someone died]: yes
-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: unfortunately, yes, hard.
[been rejected]: yes.
[rejected someone]: i guess?
[used someone]: no
[been cheated on]: probably
[done something you regret]: yes, now i have regrets.
-N U M B E R-
[of times i have had my heart broken?]: twice but by one person.
[of hearts i have broken?]: none probably.
[of boys i have kissed?]:2
[of girls i have kissed?]: 1, hahaha, if you mean like not with tounge or anything.
[of continents i have lived in?]: one
[of drugs taken illegally?]:0
[of tight friends?]:
[of cd's that i own?]: i don't fucking know
[of scars on my body?]: 5 that i can think of. i think.
[of things in my past that i regret?] 1