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Thursday, January 22nd, 2004
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2:31p - my queen
i stand here all alone waaiting woundering.
i hear her crying screaming from miles away but yet i can do nothing.
her radience is ever lasting and beauty is ever matching.
and i here her call to come play,
she wishes to be with me, and she wishes to have comfert here.
but yet i have nothing to give.
to think that we are link together would be an understatement,
i can feel her pain, i can hear her calls.
we have more of a connection then any one else.
but yet i can not get to her.
she screems to me "plaese come save me!" while im all asleep in my bed at nights.
and i can see her truth in the bottom of her heart the she is scared of wut might become.
but yet there is nothing i can do.
for i the mere pesant has no voice and has no ability.
i can not go to her in the way i have become.
at night wishing i could go to her and take it all away.
but at the same time i wish some one you take m away from this world,
so i could not bother those who care so much.
to be a child of the night for ever more.
to fly with the owls, and run with the wolves, jujst to be a child of the night.
but yet she still calls for me and thats all that keeps me around eniogh
just to hold on just a lil bit long to the life i have.
(comment on this)
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7:14p - Oppressed Dolly
I really don't know what it is
and why I couldn't just stay with him
im hoping this will just make us stronger in the end.
I just wanna rip my heart out so I cant feel anything
I don't want to hurt anyone anymore
I don't want to hurt anymore.
This whole world is filled with oppression and degration.
no matter what you do its never good enough for the public eye.
I just hope im doing the right thing.
I just don't care.
FUCK LIFE, FUCK THE SYSTEM, AND FUCK EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWS IT.
I realize Anarchy can never be.
Yes I realize that chaos itself is a system.
The government cannot be broken.
just played along with like dolls.
I just hope I didn't kill him inside.....
but there are some things we BOTH have to understand.
I don't think im ready to even be talking..
i think that may be another reason... maybe im scaring myself away from him again.
.. im only 16 im I can not be pushed around, I will not be forced
I will not be stricken down by the rules
ready to plan out my life not just yet...
and I don't want my life planned out yet.
I don't want my life to be all wrapped up in pretty paper shielded by the world
I dont want to be a paper doll in a house of plans.
i want to live life as it comes, not play along like a barbie.
(comment on this)
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