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Monday, January 12th, 2004
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5:17a
I have an obligation that's fading with time
my tank is empty and I need a new line
have you ever felt like me
wondering what your next move will be
I'm last in line for the late night show
I buy my ticket and I'm directed where to go
I follow a hallway to the back of the room
everyone is silenced, the show is starting soon
I close my eyes, and I sometimes see
I catch a glimpse of what I could never be
I sit and watch as the screen begins to play
my focus fades, I can never make it stay
I'm a razor-blade psycho, falling from genocide
with-out you it could never be a perfect homicide
I reach out to what I could never touch
I'm so used to pain, anymore it doesn't hurt much
my skull seeps through my eyes
everyone pauses behind common lies
I wonder if there's any other place
hiding whats behind my emotionless face
will there always be someone waiting for me
what's going to happen if you somehow succeed
will you rejoice and flee just the same
or become a key player, in a very key game
someone awaits around the corner of life
packing a weapon, be it gun or knife
I always wonder why I can never tell
one in a million trapped in a see through hell
I'm super hated and properly sedated
I'm here until you're properly faded
who knows what this is about
leave it to you, to figure it out
I realize today is black
everything I've taken, will never be given back
it's what I've tried to avoid, yet I always run in to
I can never get away, even when I'm right with you
there's always consequence
I envy the mystery sense
from American to American, I feel what I feel
why spend time worrying about scars that'll never heal
I can't describe how I feel, so why do I try
everyday that you leave, just adds another goodbye
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5:18a
you don't need to say your sorry
for things you didn't do
these tears that roll down your cheek
understand what you see through
these are the fights
that linger through the night
when everything goes dim
your eyes simply let go of sight
aggravated eyes
sugar-coated trees
one handed life line
and scabbed over knees
praying for life
teething my need
fists full of steel
once again, I feed
I feel so lost
in this darkness of mine
weightlessly falling
gaining inches of time
surrealistic dreams
time turning late
silence in fear
unimaginable hate
succumbing to temptation
my mind leads on
leaving dust clouds of fear
and suddenly I'm gone
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5:29a
I sliver, I sway
and I bleed, where I lay
slowly, I slide and fall
weightless, feel nothing at all
I turn, I scream
and I sleep when I dream
I get up when I'm falling down
I see the hate in everything around
I run, I hide
then I turn, and look to the side
to see what they hate us for
I just can't do this anymore
so..
I admire, I love
everything you're made of
you're my one, my star
and I'm loving, everything you are
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