Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in gothic ~ poetry's Blurty:

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Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
7:31 pm [mysterysunshine]	my fixed position you will sometime see meanwhile release me with your golden key words need not be said thoughts need not be known your face spinning in my head how far your wings must've flown the place you came from .. I don't understand .. your world is so perfect and yet mine so complex the way we fit together so real and un-defined the places you've taken my mind you're why I'm here, in your heart forever I don't have much to offer you but I owe something for what you've brought me through for opening up my eyes to something not filled with lies there is so much truth in your eyes I can pick up on that, and realize life goes wrong... something in it goes right seems four steps too long, it's easy if you've already seen the light and for those who haven't what do they get for their lives? guilt to several crimes he didn't commit you come from a place where no one hides your perfect world will never co-exsist with mine you're too good for them to combine but the way you make me feel is something I can't turn from emotions spill out of me - it's so unreal all it takes, is one inch of your love..
make your mark?
Monday, January 12th, 2004
5:29 am [mysterysunshine]	I sliver, I sway and I bleed, where I lay slowly, I slide and fall weightless, feel nothing at all I turn, I scream and I sleep when I dream I get up when I'm falling down I see the hate in everything around I run, I hide then I turn, and look to the side to see what they hate us for I just can't do this anymore so.. I admire, I love everything you're made of you're my one, my star and I'm loving, everything you are
make your mark?
5:18 am [mysterysunshine]	you don't need to say your sorry for things you didn't do these tears that roll down your cheek understand what you see through these are the fights that linger through the night when everything goes dim your eyes simply let go of sight aggravated eyes sugar-coated trees one handed life line and scabbed over knees praying for life teething my need fists full of steel once again, I feed I feel so lost in this darkness of mine weightlessly falling gaining inches of time surrealistic dreams time turning late silence in fear unimaginable hate succumbing to temptation my mind leads on leaving dust clouds of fear and suddenly I'm gone
make your mark?
5:17 am [mysterysunshine]	I have an obligation that's fading with time my tank is empty and I need a new line have you ever felt like me wondering what your next move will be I'm last in line for the late night show I buy my ticket and I'm directed where to go I follow a hallway to the back of the room everyone is silenced, the show is starting soon I close my eyes, and I sometimes see I catch a glimpse of what I could never be I sit and watch as the screen begins to play my focus fades, I can never make it stay I'm a razor-blade psycho, falling from genocide with-out you it could never be a perfect homicide I reach out to what I could never touch I'm so used to pain, anymore it doesn't hurt much my skull seeps through my eyes everyone pauses behind common lies I wonder if there's any other place hiding whats behind my emotionless face will there always be someone waiting for me what's going to happen if you somehow succeed will you rejoice and flee just the same or become a key player, in a very key game someone awaits around the corner of life packing a weapon, be it gun or knife I always wonder why I can never tell one in a million trapped in a see through hell I'm super hated and properly sedated I'm here until you're properly faded who knows what this is about leave it to you, to figure it out I realize today is black everything I've taken, will never be given back it's what I've tried to avoid, yet I always run in to I can never get away, even when I'm right with you there's always consequence I envy the mystery sense from American to American, I feel what I feel why spend time worrying about scars that'll never heal I can't describe how I feel, so why do I try everyday that you leave, just adds another goodbye
make your mark?
Saturday, January 3rd, 2004
10:25 pm [mysterysunshine]	anyone in here ever do drugs? if so, does this make sense? yell my name play my game tell me the same make me crave become my slave take this cross divide your loss curl the hatchet and try to match it take the heart take it apart detach the string give me a fling and feel the sting distinguish the feeling focus on healing feel the bugs and what it does look straight ahead feel like your dead numb and crawling weightless and falling you can't hide it the taste of shit your eyes perk out giving view a shout focus on blur never to sure looking so fast can't catch grasp crawling fades eyes get hazed movement is eminent induced is the element feed the blood turn it to mud poke a hole your breath being stole speak with your hair dispose your stare you can't see I can't feel me you stand still all you kill through your eyes everything dies the rush can't be ignored the taste fore-warned the end of your sobriety never-ending society drug-abusive and able served on a golden table taken with a golden spoon weaved my golden cocoon a tidal wave of emotion a wake of devotion a current addiction a dedicated prescription I was never told what I'd un-fold never take it back when I've lost track your stomach shrinks your mind thinks your hair tingles your blood mingles and your throat feels it the warm commitment open your mouth the fire comes out fall to the floor get up, and do it some more
3 scarsmake your mark?
8:34 pm [mysterysunshine]	- Your God Is Cerebral Masturbation - the light of hope just flickered out complete dark, no sound, too weak to shout bleak, and obsolete, 19 and diseased I wish I knew why my vision decreased it's blurry, and focus is getting hard the beginning is here, this is when it has to start thoughts falling, mind creeping me out trying to re-direct myself, opening another route it isn't working, someone help I can't stand it, tired of yelling at myself .. pain sets in .. I try to scratch away the little pieces they're only to be replace by bigger ceases a twitch in my mind is showing through deadening these sounds, just to try and hear you prided myself on dragging me down but this piercing sound, is killing me fierce, but slow, soft, yet hard the sound of death, it's drawing near I've found myself dead, to your cold fear don't be afraid for me, I don't want your sympathy everyone's against me, my minds with them, a conspiracy my heart, killing all things blistering eyes, feeling each sting corrupted, feeling alone I'll take a stand, as I sit on my throne now, it really begins I'll repent, each of my dreadful sins watching myself, going deeper down the hole dripping myself, eating the ribs I stole hollow for room, room for pain I look to the left and the right, everything is one huge stain my life, is a big mistake you can have it, it mis-communicates I've lost control, therefore, lost the will moving so fast, yet sitting so still the watcher watches, he begins to see that inside this dying world, nothing is set free I can't be me, with myself, I'm scared but I'll still stand up, and do what you wouldn't dare I've got no reason to be afraid this is my ending I've safely displayed it came sooner than expected in my heart, seeing myself rejected I can't cope with the loss of myself I've done the mistake, and I don't need the help I am my own god even if I do consider myself a fraud it's me, my own fraud, my insides clawed escaped the dread, catching the dark seeing the end, but viewing the start forever paying for this damage I've caused picture of a gun in my hand, it suddenly dis-charged I find no more, this isn't me searching myself to maybe accidentally see the face I found 2 months ago insisting I haven't drug myself this low I tried, to stay alive, lost my will nowhere to turn, why not just die, do you see me still? even when I'm right with you I'm so far away thinking the problem, I convince myself to stay missing the point, I fall away from myself getting back up, to find my shelf lay down, right here, and close your eyes still surprise myself, on how much it bled kill him away, here I am, put him to bed soaring high, but I ain't go wings needless to say, I hate how much wind stings the date is due, and I'm starting to run late should I stay, or try to change fate? I wish someone could tell me why I hate everything but nothing at all on the brink of watching my own downfall it was said once, and now again my biggest mistake, was covering my stain look in my eyes, and tell me you wouldn't do the same at least I'll go down, in one huge flame the memories of the dead times we had I'll have lived to know, not all were that bad we had it once, and I'd do it again looking for myself, wondering how to contain I wish you the best, and nothing at all if I was there, would you take the fall? if I hide, will you promise to forget all my wallowing, surrounding my dis-content I don't want to know, after I'm gone I'll be happy to know, that I can do no harm my head looking down, my vision looking up 1..2..3.. it'll begin with a message interrupt I found my place, when I'm gone will you mis-place my body and my mind I'm tired of searching and pain is all I find what good use is that I'm a thought not spoken I'm the smoke you aren't smoking open the door, the silence is me look through it, the darkness sets me free I'm a second alter-ego, set to self destruct why can't I stop the pain nothing I do helps, I'll stop to complain don't listen to me, I'm not worth the words I speak I'm a fucked up freak Fuck you all, but don't ever judge me I could guide you half-way down 'n show you how after you get there, tell the keeper he's allowed he'll know what to do and he'll go do it once he's done, I'll go completely to shit Fuck myself and everyone around me in an attempt to show you I'm free mystical creation dripping sensation altered apprehension physical mis-direction emotional comprehension underhand temptation all can be found in this dying nation I'm hating myself, and disconcerting others all pain I've felt means nothing to myself crawling around, bleeding bad trying to find, simple thoughts I had direction missed, temperature rising dead body laying, physically compromising due structure, leading mis-directions lacking time, cause of procrastination distance increasing, minds under achieving overwhelming incompetence, sufficiently incoherent effective persistence, devious disposition faulty distinction, common extinction I look in your eyes, I am the faults I see my reflection mirror image you don't need me maybe I should just stay discontent everyone'll just start to name a concept 61, 14, and the ace of clubs seeing the distance, and what it's memory does I'm out not to see I no longer want what this mind gives me I hate it, I'm in need of something.. I wish I knew what.. I wish I knew.. I'm alive, but dead inside I no longer care, there's no reason to hide by myself and never anyone else except their body, but never they're own self someone's true colors suck I wish I knew the quickest way so close, but yet so far out the window, there sits my car distance clouds, teardrops surrounding trees the green grass blades, and the pretty green leaves tempers flare, control over-thrown tossed around and settled down learning my quest, to offer the clown pass it over, peace to me thinking aloud, but all to silently
make your mark?
8:21 pm [mysterysunshine]	i am new to this community. here are a few of my pieces. please give feedback. thank you. My fixed position you will sometime see meanwhile release me with your golden key words need not be said thoughts need not be known your face spinning in my head how far your wings must've flown the place you came from .. I don't understand .. Your world is so perfect and yet mine so complex the way we fit together so real and un-defined the places you've taken my mind you're why I'm here, in your heart forever I don't have much to offer you but I owe something for what you've brought me through for opening up my eyes to something not filled with lies there is so much truth in your eyes I can pick up on that, and realize life goes wrong... something in it goes right seems four steps too long, it's easy if you've already seen the light and for those who haven't what do they get for their lives? Guilt to several crimes they didn't commit you come from a place where no one hides your perfect world will never co-exsist with mine you're too good for them to combine but the way you make me feel is something I can't turn from emotions spill out of me - it's so unreal all it takes, is one inch of your love..
make your mark?
Sunday, December 28th, 2003
2:39 pm [kari_r_horn]	I'm a newbie at this...but i thought i'd give it a try. "Hell Befalls Me" Living to die dying to live broken battered lonely i stand crying, pleading no reprimand choking,drowning fastly i fall dying to live living to die once and for all Current Mood: cynical Current Music: evanescence- my tourniquet
make your mark?
Wednesday, December 24th, 2003
2:36 pm [zeralot]	Title: Sorry, do I know you? Written: Thursday, 25 December 2003, 6:03:02 AM Category: Angst, Life Rating: PG Note: Not sure who this is written about, it does relate to a few of my friend but not one in whole for the entire poem just parts of it. ( Poem, Sorry, do I know you? ) Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Evanescence - Taking Over Me
2 scarsmake your mark?
Monday, December 22nd, 2003
1:40 am [zeralot]	hey everyone, newbie here i've got some poetry that i'll post later on (as i'm still tweaking this new account) but yeah. Question, are there any rules or basic guild lines that i'll need to follow with this group? As in content of the poetry adn all that?
2 scarsmake your mark?
Saturday, December 13th, 2003
7:58 pm [antiavril272]	Deathless One do these tears of sorrow + pain mean nothing to you? screaming out in misery this world is so surreal.. means nothing to me..how about you? nothing is the same anymore + you're misanthropic ways will not go unnoticed forever haunted always astray (that's not from any song from sts is it?) + i want to shove that egotistic smile down your thorat i smirk at your painful demise this missing feeling lingers as your spirt floats away my smirk disappearing.. realizing it was no prize + felt this chilling feeling within you're gone why am i not estatic just another dirty sin.. Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: something in the way [x] nirvana
make your mark?
Thursday, December 4th, 2003
6:16 am [superstitches]	first post. rapeseed ..planted a drain it took root in the soil ..granted I drown in responsibility ..it's not your fault it's draining me ..so hold your own and set me free ..caught in the roots watching the leaves ..it bears no seeds it only needs ..to trim the tree pruning the leaves ..little pieces of a bigger thing that used to be ..cut at the roots ..we'll make it no more for its effort we'll even the score
make your mark?
Thursday, November 27th, 2003
6:16 pm [magical_witch]	I don't care I don't care about myself anymore. I don't care about the world. I don't care about what will happen to me. I don't care if I destroy the world. Everything has come to a crash, and nothing will be the same. Since I came into this world I have been nothing but pain. Get the gun, pull the trigger, blow me away. Just ease my mind of all this fucking pain. Current Mood: depressed
1 scarmake your mark?
6:16 pm [magical_witch]	I don't care I don't care about myself anymore. I don't care about the world. I don't care about what will happen to me. I don't care if I destroy the world. Everything has come to a crash, and nothing will be the same. Since I came into this world I have been nothing but pain. Get the gun, pull the trigger, blow me away. Just ease my mind of all this fucking pain. Current Mood: depressed
make your mark?
Wednesday, November 26th, 2003
6:51 pm [daisyxkiller]	She sits on her thrown Mighty with the spoils Looks down at all Her lips crusted with a sour vile She speaks nothing but ugliness Lies masked the beauty Teeth rotten to the core Peel her skin, watch and see Those pretty locks of sunrise Should wither with your heart Girl on the thrown could you ever love? Open your cold heart to another? Let the hearth of affection and trust war father winter Nails brittle Scratched anything that comes near Savage soul Fingers aching to the bone Almighty woman on the thrown Those crystal eyes are blind Crawl on your hands through the dark To much pride to light a match to see To be I see taint Should your crown break And step out of the pieces The little world of yours would shatter Little girl on the thrown Look at you now Your layers are peeled Exposed- Real-is it fun? Are you happy? Stop turning away from what you see You should lower your voice- For this is your world This is your true world Bitterly rotten Lay in her ruin Of what used to be For all along- This is what you wanted END Current Mood: cold Current Music: "TOUCHED" vAST
make your mark?
Saturday, November 15th, 2003
10:57 pm [sunseteyes0605]	hey... i'm new to this community. if anyone could help me with my layout, that'd be great here's a poem i wrote... it's not very good but i'll post it anyways a girl sits alone on her bed writing notes of things unsaid she can no longer deal with the sorrow and strife the time has come to end her own life she finishes the notes and seals them too now she knows what she has to do she swallows her pills one by one and finally the ominous deed is done suddenly the pain begins to kick in she hopes her family can forgive this sin she becomes dizzy and all goes black at this point she knows, she'll never be back
make your mark?
Tuesday, November 11th, 2003
10:27 pm [xxxdrkdragonxxx]	My life... Emptiness fills my fractured soul Life's finnaly taking it's toll I'm losing control I don't remember life being so dull I'm finding it hard to breath This life is just to much to conceive I don't know what's left to belive I have nothing left to achive If only you could see what's inside of me Please tell me where I can find the key to unlock this darkness...
make your mark?
Monday, November 10th, 2003
8:22 pm [brokenragdoll73]	Destroying Me The only way to tell if this will kill me Is through cursed time but i don't think i can stand the wait You made me this way Changing me into what i hate You made me souless Stealing all i had Rapping me of my pride You left me scared and alone Infecting me with your poisonous hate You left me behind Raping me of everything till there's nothing left How can you watch me scream and cry? How could you destroy me? Now I am empty... You said you loved me I misjudged you badly Caressing you with words so twisted Driving me to make wicked twists with my blade This is not suicide This is art... and im the artist Carving the paintings into my canvas wrists Using the blood as my paint Are you still breathing? Or is this killing you like it killed me? Is there a better way to live? Cus i feel almost dead Current Mood: predatory
make your mark?
Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
1:06 am [xxxdrkdragonxxx]	Cold mystery... Desire runs deep with my vains driving me insain with pain Circumstances not of normal,nothingness fills my mind soon like me you'll come to find that nothing can be found crule life,always I am bound,destined to forever drown in sarrow,no hope for my tommarow my silent screams echo in my mind provoke my tears which attract more fears why is it so very cold? why aren't my answers ever told? when will you'r perfect plan unfold???... Current Mood: sick Current Music: NIN-The Becoming
1 scarmake your mark?
Tuesday, October 28th, 2003
7:50 pm [itransmission]	Give your BLOOD! http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=Anomie This is an online Vampire game it's fun and easy.
make your mark?