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Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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5:10 am - I don't know if I've posted this entry before...
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| Wednesday, August 20th, 2003
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7:14 pm - my name is volitile
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xblazze5051
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On the 18th I went to NYC to see 311 in concert and let’s just say that 311 is ear orgasmic. IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING! I’ve seen them 4 times before but this time I was in the pit right near stage. The vibe was kick ass and the crowd was just busy moshing and everyone was having a kick ass time. Chad Sexton’s drum solo was unbelievable. Nick, SA, P-nut, Chad, and Tim all have so much talent.
It was the highlight of my summer.
All the songs they played were wicked but the ones that stuck in my head were Visit (which I was surprised they played), Crack the Code (I wanted them to play that badly), Omaha Stylee, Electricity, Large in the Margin, Don’t Dwell, and Down which was the last song dedicated to all old school 311 fans.
( visit )
( crack the code )
( omaha stylee )
( electricity )
( large in the margin )
( don’t dwell )
( down )
current mood:  happy
current music: three one one
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 7th, 2003
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8:46 pm
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| Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003
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4:15 pm - iced ~~~~~~~~~ TEA
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sweetjean
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SO STILL JUST WANDERING, NOTHIUNG MUCH EVERY GOES MY WAY, WONDERING WHEN AND WHY- WONDERING HOW ITS MY TIME~~~~~~~~~~FLY TOWARDS THE OPEN DOOR, THROUGH THE GATES OF 3 DEMENSIONS~~` cid LOVES TO WORK ITS MAGIC, ON THIS ROLLER COASTER RIDE-- HIP HIP HOREAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
current mood: AND SO ON
current music: FATHER FLANAGHAN
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, July 21st, 2003
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3:41 pm
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xblazze5051
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Can we start again
Go back to what it meant back then
Open minds and open hearts
The things that set us apart
Was it more than words
And do they still apply
And do you still believe
Well so do I
I was a 15-year-old kid
With nowhere to fit in
I just wanted to skate
Listen to my suicidal tape
When someone told me about a place
Where the strange were accepted
And judged by what's inside
A scene of truly open minds
Somewhere, somehow, everything has changed
Look at what we've gotten ourselves caught up in
The same mindless clicks
The same high school shit
All the walls you scream about breaking down
I've watched you build brick by brick
I was a 15-year-old kid
With nowhere to fit in
I just wanted to skate Listen to my suicidal tape
When someone told me about a place
Where the strange were accepted
And judged by what's inside
A scene of truly open minds
ARE WE STILL THE SEE OF OPEN MINDS
Do you still believe?
I do
Look beyond the 3 chords that fill your lives
Look beyond the gossip and the lies
Beyond the dullest of outsides
Look beyond try harder
See what's inside this burning in my heart
Born under the same songs that you know
But our blood will never blend
Until you let those doors go
current mood:  numb
current music: can we start again | bane
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, July 4th, 2003
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2:04 pm
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nobodylistens
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/`````\ .~°\ /°~. /`````\, .·~°\ /°~.
/ /\ \ \ \/``\/ / / /\ \ \ \/ /
/ /..\ \ \ / / /...\ \ \ /
°~.,/```\,.~° \,,,,/\,,,,/ °~.,/```\,.-~'° \.....\
from this world, away from your love,
away from your touch..
y..
I stopped by your house and u weren’t there...
away from our conversations..
away from the great laughs we shared..
Falling deeper in love with this boy..
wondering y...
could it be true..
are u the one I’ve been searching for...
are u??
Are u the one that will make me happy,
jus by looking at u..
Come back to me..
Let me see that wonderful smile
and hear that great laugh..
I LOVE YOU..
<> 2Superman
current mood:  confused
current music:
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 28th, 2003
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8:01 pm - fallin in love
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nobodylistens
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I speak but no 1 hears
I tremble with all my fears
I cry the tears from my eyes they flow
But no one cares because they dont no
I keep my secrets and pretend that Im ok
I pray to never again see the light of day
Each night when I go to sleep
I hope not to awake from my unconcious keep
But alas I wake each morn
Another day to wish that I wasn't born
Another day to go through
Another day of feeling blue
Yet I continue to wake,
so I must be here for some sake.
So maybe one day the depression will end
and my mind and heart will once again mend.
Wouldn't it be just a waste if I didn't hang around
just in case happiness was actually found So I stay and I wait
and I leave my destiny up to fate
I'm crazy for trying, crazy for crying, and I'm crazy for loving you.
current mood: confused
current music:
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(comment on this)
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3:28 pm - frankenstein girls will seem strangely sexy
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xblazze5051
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I’m so happy
I have lost my edge
so happy
I have lost my edge
so happy
I have lost my edge
"fuck you man” don't mean nothing anymore
"fuck you man" don't mean nothing anymore
I played it
out out out out
I played it
out out out out
I'm big enough to make a moral that I never really did
I'm big enough to make a moral that I never really did
I’m so happy
I have lost my edge
???something goes here???
HEY
"fuck you man" don't mean nothing anymore
"fuck you man" don't mean nothing anymore
I played it
out out out out
I played it
out out out out
I'm big enough to make a moral that I never really did
I'm big enough to make a moral that I never really did
pick up the blush
big end so tight
HEY
"fuck you man" don't mean nothing anymore
"fuck you man" don't mean nothing anymore
I played it
out out out out
I played it
out out out out
I'm big enough to make a moral that I never really did
I'm big enough to make a moral that I never really did
I'm big enough to make a moral that I never really did
I'm big enough to make a moral that I never really did
current mood:  depressed
current music: played | mindless self indulgence
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, June 27th, 2003
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10:56 pm - I'm a retard...
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egamad
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i seem to keep slipping up tonight, and i'm not quite sure if there's a way to edit entries, if there is, i havn't found it =P
it should read: "i can be called Guam" meh =P
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(2 Fellow Follower | comment on this)
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10:19 pm - Heh, almost forgot.
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10:01 pm - Posting
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egamad
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Boredom has overcome me,
And boredom has struck again.
I'm posting, in hopes to find something to pass my time.
I'm hoping this will help me,
I'm hoping that it will.
Boredom, let life know us,
Boredom, let us live.
It thrives on passion non-existent,
It thrives on what i give.
What i give, to myself,
And what i see, to my extent,
Of passion, that i want right now,
And only time, greatest spent.
Boredom leaves me writing this, boredom is what i hate.
Boredom is my nemesis, but she is my own fate.
Good day. =]
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 24th, 2003
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8:08 pm
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xblazze5051
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these bandages cover more than scrapes
cuts and bruises from regrets and mistakes
I've been hoping your moping around the street again
I've been tripping from sipping the dripping dirty water tap
I've been poking a voodoo doll that you do not know I made
these bandages are anonymity
I've been shaking from making an awful decision
I've been running and running
feels like my head is spinning round and round
bandages on my legs and my arms from you
bandages!
up and down on my legs my arms from you
bandages
I've been hoping your moping around the street again
I've been tripping from sipping the dripping dirty water tap
I've been poking a voodoo doll
that you do not know I made for you -of you- let's see what needles do
I've been shaking from making an awful decision
I've been thinking I'm drinking too many drinks all by myself
I've been running and running
feels like my head is spinning round and round
don't worry now
don't worry cause it's all under control
don't worry cause it will all turn around
current mood:  weird
current music: bandages | hot hot heat
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 22nd, 2003
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10:23 pm - "I hate life! I...love it."
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sexlessdemon
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Looked up at the sky.
Saw my shattered reflection.
Looks very nice to me.
Imperfection perfection.
Held the knife and held it tight.
Might hurt a little; should I try?
Maybe this is going to be the time.
Will I stay alive?
Saw your repulsion.
So beautiful; I love it!
Everything you do.
I've lost faith in you.
Happy like that crying girl.
Smiling while that bullimic hurls.
Everything bad is turning good.
It's not like I thought it should.
Everyday I lose myself.
Everyday I find myself.
Everyday I still remain.
Everyday...the same.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 21st, 2003
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4:09 pm - not listening
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xblazze5051
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so you're just barely getting by
not hurting no one
sometimes you think that you're alright
sometimes you have fun
but on the way someone confronts you
and tries to shut you up
you're having trouble at your home
you want to get out
but you've got nowhere else to go
you gotta get out
but on the way someone confronts you and
tries to tell you that
you're going nowhere with your life
whoa
you better listen to what's right
whoa
but don't you see
that I can't hear you
HEY
HEY
HEY
current mood:  pissed off
current music: authority | goldfinger
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, June 20th, 2003
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8:59 pm - Confused
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nobodylistens
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:Is His Love:
:For Real:
~Cry 4 u, Die 4 u, be there always. thats what i'll do... 4 u... if u love me would u.. cry 4 me, die 4 me... be there when im sad... if u loved me thats what u would do... i love u so much and u are perfect for me.. I LOVE YOU ****~
Tears run down my cheek as u walk away from me.. my heart breaks as u turn ur back to me.. what do i do.. when i try to call for u nothing seems to come out, does it mean that i dont care or that i dont luv u.. but the thing is i do... i do luv n care.. i will always need and want u.. u will always be in my heart and in my soul.. i wish i could be there everyday but life doesnt work that way...
i know we will always make time for each other on the weekends and to talk on the phone, but the days that we are not together i cry.. i just need to know that ur there and u know that i am deeply in love with u... Oh **** i wish u just knew how i felt for u and could return the feelings..........................................
current mood:  bored
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(1 Fellow Follower | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 17th, 2003
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12:25 am - i told him not to leave
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xblazze5051
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come down to my house
stick a stone in your mouth
you can always pull out
if you like it too much
make a whole new religion
a falling star that you cannot live without
and I'll feed your obsession
there'll be nothing but this thing that you'll never doubt
a hit is hard to resist
and I never miss
I can take you out
with just a flick of my wrist
make a whole new religion
a falling star that you cannot live without
and I'll feed your obsession
there is nothing but this thing that you'll never doubt
this thing you'll never doubt
and I'll feed your obsession
the falling star that you cannot live without
i will be your religion
this thing you'll never doubt
you're not the only one
you're not the only one
now I want it too much
now I want it to stop
now I'm lucky like a falling star that fell over me
bow down to me, bow down to me
bow down to me, bow down to me
bow down to me, bow down to me
bow down to me
current mood:  content
current music: supervixen | garbage
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 15th, 2003
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5:47 pm - SCREAMS
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xblazze5051
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the host of the show comes down
to collapse on the ground
and the crime scene revisits me
this body shut down in Bordeaux
and the shores of gold coast
on the balcony I search for sleep
the future has fallen short
when the sun sets north
and the clouds fall from the mirrored walls
words speak and choose
make sense and lose
capsize the tall tale but always fail
words speak and choose
make sense and lose
forfeit the tall tale
I always will
the host had his mouth sewn shut
all in the name of trust
when the blood goes thin he's given in
you can spare us the formal toast
the drunken anecdotes
from this day on
goes on and on
you know when he falls apart
he listens in the dark
to records turn
I'll never learn
to set it down
you'll set it down
you'll set it downl
current mood:  crushed
current music: collapse | sparta
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 14th, 2003
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5:08 pm - "Jesus H. Krist"~Kristallnacht XXX
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sexlessdemon
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Jesus!
Speed!
Heroin!
Need!
Krist!
Feed!
Sex!
Drugs!
Violence!
Thugs!
Alchohol!
Chug!
Government!
Corrupt!
Lost!
Swallowed Up!
Self!
Destruct!
Kristallnacht XXX is this industrial band I'm in with Kat Lydon, MiKe Van Leeuwen, and Brian LeeDs. When I find an MP3 host I'll probably post the actually song. The song sounds better with the music since the song is pretty much 6 min. of beats and 1 min. of vocals...
current mood:  awake
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(comment on this)
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1:56 am - fuck it
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xblazze5051
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whoa oh prisoner
my pretty
whoa oh prisoner
a black ocean is the sky above
tiny lights bob what star you from
trapped in material plane
she wants to fly and they think she's insane but
she knows what she know
give that girl wings and that's all she wrote
twilight zone twilight zone
i'm floating in the dark alone and
is there any love out here let me know
a laser light pinpoints the top of my dome
then through my body as if Scotty's
beaming up a wayward soul
mutant races in an ancient universe
dark shadows humans rhyming in a reggae verse
it's gone if you blink
I can see it as soon as you think it
dancehalls crystal balls on sidewalk malls
psychic people outdoors reading palms
I believe that you know more
to survive the dimension is four
whoa oh prisoner
my pretty
whoa oh prisoner
look at the way she's searching
trapped in a world that's hurting
so bad it makes her cry
but I won't let her say good bye
twilight zone twilight zone
I'm floating in the dark alone and
is there any love out here let me know
(away)
twilight zone twilight zone
I'm floating in the dark alone and
is there any love out here let me know
(go away away)
current mood:  crazy
current music: prisoner | 311
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(2 Fellow Follower | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 13th, 2003
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8:00 pm - Life of Apathy
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lonelysuperbi
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These are poems that i've written in the past year.
they all relate to my life and how i felt and one time
or another.
Do You Need To Bleed?
I bleed for you who think it true
That I love jus what I do
Bringing scorn and hate upon me
Just so you will leave m be
Your petty thoughts and feeble minds
Have only yet to be undermined
My burning fire is going to be unleashed,
Engulf your world and leave you deceased
You’ll never know just who I am
Because you cannot see
See the bigger picture within this
World of hate and death
Even as I write these words,
You cannot still see,
You’re blind and bewildered
Inside and endless world, when will you ever wake?
Just open your eyes, and see inside
Into my little world
You’ll never live past what I have, inside
My world called hell
I challenge you to take a look
Inside this life within
Can live? Can you survive?
Do you need to be alive?
Bleed For Me
These wounds I feel, hurt me no more,
Those wounds I felt were for the poor
Poor minded who thought of me with
HATE
hate me because I didn’t want to be the norm?
hate yourself because now I’m born
I’m born into what I use to be
Born into what was forsaken for me
This new life is what I lead
Of this still, I do not need
My old life is why I bleed!
This last one is more of a song that was about my mom,
and how i've ruined her life by just living, but i've come
to realize that i've ruined more then just her life, so it's
been a little altered
Alive?
I’m not sure I’m alive anymore
I can not feel any pain
I see the razor slit my wrist but I can feel no pain
This life is not worth living for if
You’re constantly, you’re constantly hitting me down.
I can not live this way no more
The pain you bring is unbearable
I hate the way I have to live
I don’t want to live anymore
Why do you do these things to me?
Why do you try to kill me ?
Try to bring my spirit down?
You’ve succeeded, of this life I can’t take anymore
What did I do so wrong?
That made you wanna hate?
Hate me, my friends, and all the rest
Your life is full of hate but I shall win, I would’ve been the greatest one you’d ever known
But now all you have is the hell
That you created, so deal
Why do you do these things to me?
Why do you try to kill me ?
Try to bring my spirit down?
You’ve succeeded, of this life I can’t take anymore
Why do you do these things to me?
Did I mess up your life so much so?
I cannot take back what I don’t know of.
I’m sorry for ruining your life
Just take me now and kill me so I don’t wreck It anymore
Why do you do these things to me?
Why do you try to kill me ?
Try to bring my spirit down?
You’ve succeeded, of this life I can’t take anymore
current mood:  apathetic
current music: "kill me" ~ damn good song....for the moment
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(1 Fellow Follower | comment on this)
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