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Wednesday, September 3rd, 2003
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1:14 am
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blacksandtide
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Dakota is going to be the death of me. Quite literally actually. I am afraid that my baby girl is going to give me a massive heart attack one day and I am just going to keel over right there. At least then she wouldn't have to stay on this island that she so obviously hates, but she'd be dropped in a situation that I deem much worse...living with her mother. I don't think Dakota would be any happier living with a bitchy dyke Mom.
I found Dakota, curled around some sleaze bag on the beach this afternoon. They seemed very comfortable with eachother, so much so that the bastard had nonchalantly untied one side of her bathing suit bottom. I think I might have to murder him in his sleep if I can ever find him again. He was obviously much older than she, and his demeanor reminded me of an oiled snake. Writing this is just making me see red. Perhaps it's better if I do not work myself into a froth and a murderous rage.
On a more pleasant note, I have recently established a partnership with Sutton Anderson. He is a Marine Biologist. We came to an agreement, and he will be booking boating tours through the Aloha Rose for guests. A Marine Biologist that does boating tours? My guess is that his money troubles are just as dire as my own, if not worse.
Speaking of money troubles, I attended a meeting this afternoon on resurrecting tourism on Moloka'i. We are concentrating on intense advertising in Japan and the United States to bring more tourists to the island, and to keep our floundering businesses and hotels alive.
With Dakota on serious lock-down, a new partner, and new hope for the island...perhaps things will begin to look up.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Led Zeppelin - " Stairway to Heaven "
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8:00 pm - What's Going On?
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flawlesssecret
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I’m starting to get worried about Ryan, he said something the other day about going for a run and I haven’t seen the bloke since… That must have been some run, ay? Guess yesterday I was too caught up in my own little drama to notice that he hadn’t come home (some friend that makes me). Well, he can’t have gone that far, I reckon he’s probably just hanging out with Jay… I’ll pop around in a bit and see; if he isn’t there then, well, it’s time to panic.
But backtracking slightly, back to my drama and why I hadn’t noticed the fact that Ryan hadn’t come home. Yesterday, I went to see the doctor down at the family clinic to sort this mess out once and for all. I actually thought it might put my mind at ease (because I’d already convinced myself it was a false alarm), ha, I couldn’t have been more wrong. In a single consultation she managed to confirm all of my worst fears…. I’m pregnant all right. So as you can see my mind was elsewhere.
Just knowing that there’s something growing inside of me makes me feel physically sick. If it weren’t so sad, it would almost be funny. When most women are over the moon to be pregnant, here I am, shut away inside my room feeling like Ripley in Alien. Does that mean I’m defective in some way?
What the hell am I going to do?
Actually that question’s pretty pointless, I know what I want to do, what I’m going to do. But right now… I need to go and check Jay’s place.
current mood:  blah
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5:36 pm
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loftydreams
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The steady beeping of some peice of machinery or another finally woke him, honey eyes fluttering open to stare up at the ceiling and see.. white. All around him, white. He knew immediately where he was, before he even saw any of the various cords and tubes connected to him, before he saw the nurse in the next bed over. Shit. He couldn't even remember how he got there, until he heard a nurse remarking to the other patient.
"He collapsed while running on the beach. Miracle he didn't drown. Dehydrated. Got a nasty sunburn, too."
He couldn't help but smirk a little bit at that. Apparently, nurses were no different in Hawaii than they were on the mainland. His head throbbed for a moment. How long had he been there? Surely if he wasn't home in a day or two, his roomate Flick would notice, right? Other than that, he couldn't think of anyone who'd notice. He'd talked to Jay once or twice, and there was Benny, but he hadn't seen him in weeks. Hell, for all he knew, he was back in Mexico.
God, I hate hospitals.
((Mun Notes: My new SN from here on out is Angst and Candy. I've got issues that are making me get rid of AOL, so that's an AIM SN. If anyone would like to play, I encourage you to either IM me sometime, or reply to this post with one of your own. Because I am so, so bored.))
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| Monday, September 1st, 2003
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1:03 pm - Stupid Girl
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flawlesssecret
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Well, I’ve had a few days to think about my “little spot of bother” and I reckon it’s just a false alarm (I hope)… there are a million other things it could be, right? Stress, weight loss or even the depression I felt over the anniversary of my father’s death…Yeah, that’s probably all it is, a false alarm.
I mean, I can’t be pregnant; I don’t even like babies and I certainly don’t want one of my own. I’m about as maternal as a house brick and as for the father… I like him and we have fun together, but I don’t love him and he doesn’t love me; At best we’re friends who fool around. No, I can’t tell him, it’d be a complete disaster.
Ugh… I wish the ground would open up and swallow me.
To top it all off I have to cover an evening shift at the bar later and I really don’t feel up to it. What am I going to do if that cop comes in? I guess I should elaborate on that one huh? Whilst wallowing in self-pity on the beach the other day I ran into this cop, Aidan. We got talking and he, he looked so hot in those little black swim shorts of his… talk about a buff body… and it was pretty obvious from the way he and his anatomy was acting that he fancied me too. The rest is just so clichéd, I needed a distraction, something to make me feel better and there he was; the perfect “pick me up”. Anyway, we went back to his place, which was only a few minutes walk from the beach and before long I was in his bed. I couldn’t face him the next morning, so, in the early hours while he was still sound asleep I slipped away. No note or anything, I just left and I haven’t seen him since; sometimes I can be so stupid.
I’m dreading tomorrow too…. Maybe I should just pack my bags and go home?
current mood:  nauseated
current music: |
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| Friday, August 29th, 2003
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8:27 pm - Dr. De Caro
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flawless_secret
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:: “Oh!…. N-oh… no, oh God.”
That wasn’t really what you’d expect to hear coming from a twenty something’s room now was it? Usually it was screams of the opposite. But if you were standing outside Sophia’s room that’s exactly what you’d hear, soon to be followed by a mumble of “I can’t look.”
There inside her room, sat on the plush king-size bed with her face hidden behind the fluffy white pillow she was currently clutching at was the doc’. Still dressed in the jeans and blue skinny rib sweater she’d worn for the flight over. Not daring to peek over the top of it until that icky chewing sound had subsided… Well, if she would insist on watching a horror movie alone. The scenes of Jeepers Creepers flickered on the TV screen and it had just got to the part where the demon-thingy was biting off the decapitated cop’s tongue [or at least that's what it looked it], cradling his head like a lover as he did so. That was too much for her, she couldn’t watch; Her father always had found that funny, how his daughter that had probably seen far more gruesome things at her place of work couldn’t stomach a gory film clip…
She was going to miss having him just around the corner; she’d always been a daddy’s girl. She was going to miss her mother and sisters Maria and Olivia too. But this was exactly what she needed; a new challenge, a change of scenery and no doubt her new job at the Molokai Family Health Center would provide that. In fact, it couldn’t have been more different to the busy bustling practice she’d worked at back home in Charleston. Where from tomorrow she would be replacing Dr. Aluli, a grey-haired GP, who was about to take his well-earned retirement. But as for now? She was staying firmly hidden behind that pillow. Oh god… there went that chewing of flesh sound again! ::
current mood:  mellow
current music: |
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| Saturday, August 30th, 2003
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12:15 pm - Wow..I've met a famous person
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keep_loving_me
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I had to go to the hospital today so the doctor could take a look at my ankle it was really swollen from what happened yesterday,but I'll get to that in a moment. I met a guy in my history class the otherday? his name is Dyllan or something like that? he's really cute but i don't know he just seems to be really withdrawn and quiet about things,I don't understand that but I'll get him to open up sooner or later,I ran home from class and ran to the beach because I wanted to relax for a while and I saw Dyllan again and he was cliff diving it was neat but I don't think I wold ever try it. I have a fear of jumping off of things..every since I could remember I could never actually get down off of the monkey bars,I would cry and cry until my father came and got me down.
We got to talk but it was a little held back,he told me how he lives with his brothers and how his parents and sisters were killed in an accident,and I guess I can relate? I don't know who my parents are but I don't really want to meet them? it would be really pointless to start a relationship with them when they abandoned me when I was a baby. He hurriedly changed the subject and jumped off the cliff into the water, I just watched quietly because I just can't see myself jumping off of it it was just so high up. I had to go home because it was getting late and I needed to get some sleep so we both said goodbye and I ran home to go home.
So the next day after class I went shopping it was so hot it was terribly sticky outside but I wanted to just go shopping and spend some girly time by myself,and go walk around the island to see different sights and everything,I went into this beautiful hotel and I walked inside to sit for a while because it felt a lot cooler then it was outside I think it was about to rain? but I don't know so I got up and made my way to the vendor just when I realized I had forgotten my bag,so I turned around and ran back towards the hotel and grabbed it and made my way back outside towards the vendor to get a bottled water,I had noticed the guy but disreguarded it,and so he stepped back and crushed my poor ankle and foot it hurt like heck but I just smiled it off even though it hurt paid for my water and limped back towards a bench and sat down. To be honest he kind of looked like Brady Milloy you know the famous pro football player?? well that's who I thought it was at first but I just figured it wasn't..So he came and talked to me and he even gave me a massage,but to be honest?? I liked it it was just I don't know how to describe it? it was nice I've never had a guy give me a massage before? I guess it was something new I've always had a crush on Brady Milloy,I use to tell my friends in Orlando that one day when I got older like twenty or eighteen that I would meet him and everything but I didn't think it would happen like this? he's such a hot guy it's unbelivable.. Well we talked why he massaged my foot and ankle and I didn't think I didn't know who he was after he told me what his name was,Brady okay there aren't to many Brady's that play pro football and look like him,and he looked around and held his finger up to his mouth as to say the secret was between just the two of us and of course I nodded. We talked a little more and he thought I was a college student,okay I could have lied and been like yea sure.. but I don't look like a college student I'm only SIXTEEN! by then I had pulled my foot away and I didn't want my sandal back on because my foot was still hurting so we talked for a little bit more and I told him my actual age,of course I'm waiting on him to be like "Oh your waaaaaaay to young for me.I'm just going to go :pats on the head:" But actually he didn't even do that? all he did was tell me wow,and when he was high school girls didn't look like me. Okay maybe I'm playing the dumb blonde or something? but I had no clue what he was talking about. But anyway I needed help getting up so I could go home,and he didn't just helped me he picked me up and carried me to his car and drove me home,and well that's the end of my little fantasy world I wish it would have lasted a little longer though. But I went to the doctor and he said my foot has a little fracture from being stepped on and my ankle is sprained so I have to be on crutches,and I have my foot wrapped and in a foot cast,how sweet right? no more beach baby for me,unless I can sandproof this baby hehe,well I'm going to go laydown these pain pills are working havoc on my poor little self so bye for now
xoxoxLexy
current mood:  excited
current music:
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1:10 am - Finally...
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egyptionrain
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It seemed like forever since Faith had seen her nephew, K.C. Now she stood on the runway of the small airport of the island, waiting for his flight in. K.C's flight had been delayed a week because his mother couldn't remember what she did with the plane ticket. But, finally he was here. The plane made it's last circle over head before descending towards the ground. A few moments after the plane landed, the boy emerged from the plane.
Faith rushed forward to wrap her arms around the boy. She knew he was only there for the school year and would be leaving come summer. But she could enjoy the seven year old for the time being. Faith carried K.C through the airport, that looked more like a small house and set him on his feet infront of her jeep. "Did you flight go well?" Faith asked as she opened the door for the small boy. K.C stared up at her, a sly grin on his face. "I scared the flight lady." Faith helped K.C into his seat as well as helped him with his seat belt. She then closed the door and worked her way back around the jeep to the driver's side door, thinking all the way, that she was going to be his teacher. She better hold on to her hat. "And just how did you do that?" Faith asked, she turned the key in the ignition as she prepared herself for another one of K.C's horror stories. K.C shook his head as he watched his Aunt Faith. "It wasn't me this time... honest..."
current mood: excited
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| Thursday, August 28th, 2003
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11:54 am - I’m In Trouble…
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flawlesssecret
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I’m in trouble… big trouble, and I have no idea what I’m going to do about it. Sure, I’ve got some good mates on the island; Ryan, Jay and course there’s my favourite pool boy Frog. But there isn’t anyone I can really talk to about this. Hence me spending the best part of yesterday down at the beach trying to think it through, which only seemed to lead to one big flaming headache. I hate to say it… but I’m feeling homesick.
Maybe I’ll try e-mailing Jo or Jess back home, they’ve always had the knack of knowing what to say or do. Whereas I on the other hand tend to suffer from severe ‘mouth-in–foot’ syndrome, I always manage to come up with the most inappropriate comments.
Anyhow, I’ll be okay. I guess I’ll just have to try and put it to the back of my mind for now [as always], I’ve got to leave for my shift down at the bar. I just hope no one comes in with his or her little brats today…
current mood: discontent
current music: |
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12:18 am - Why Me...?
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egyptionrain
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*Faith dropped down in her desk chair. It felt like 100 years since she had gotten out of bed that very morning. Teaching on the island was nothing like teaching in the big city. Faith wasted no time, she leaned forward and put that lethal pen to the paper.*
"Why me...?" *Was all she wrote, she then sat back for a minute. She ran the day over in her head one more time, mentally marking out the parts that weren't that bad. She then sighed and began to write again.* " I tell you, I think these children don't want to learn. They're all so worried about not wanting to sit next to 'him' or 'them'. Like the highschool kids are going to catch coodies. Then the Seniors don't want to sit with the Sophomores, and the Juniors don't want to sit with the Freshman. Like they're so much better then eachother." *Faith smiled for a moment.*
"I was out of high school while they were still in diapers, and trust me, they aren't as good as anyone else. Most off, I finally got to meet the 'infamous' Dakota. She was ranting at one of the local girls over... I believe it was a bunny pen...? She didn't stop there, she had also mentioned something about not wanting to sit next to a Freshman. By the end of the day I almost threw them out of school. There had been a food fight, a complaint about not having a football team... we didn't even have enough students to play a good game of tennis! And who would we play football against? The adults on the island?... There had also been a complaint about the food (Like I'm the cook too)." *Faith sat back for a moment to rub her eyes, before continuing.*
"I know we're all supposed to make the best of it here, but have you ever wanted to swim in shark infested water? Of course, not, you're a journal. But that's how I felt today. Tomorrow, we're all going to the beach, to talk about sand or something. Anything that keeps these kids away from the inside of a building before one of their heads explodes." *Faith smiled and finished off the entry with.* "We don't have a school janitor yet and I would hate to have to clean THAT up."
current mood:  frustrated
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| Wednesday, August 27th, 2003
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11:04 pm - screw school... if you could even call it that
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lost_in_it_all
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GOD... as soon as you think this island can't get any lamer... it somehow does.
Today was my first day of school. I'm a junior. There's only 6 of us. SIX!!!!!
Our school is this little.. shack of a thing.... with three class rooms, a couple of offices, a tiny little cafeteria/teacher's lounge, and bathrooms... and that's IT. The whole building could have fit in my high school back in New York's gym.
This one doesn't even HAVE a gym. There's no computer labs, or science labs or even a library.. there's no football team, so of course there's no dance squad. It sucks SO hard!! I was going to be on the varsity dance team if I'd gotten to stay at my old school with all of my friends but noooooooooooooooooooooooo.... my father had to drag me off to a third world country. State. Whatever. This place shouldn't even get to be part of the United States. It doesn't deserve it.
Back home I had a different teacher for every subject... and here? There's only one for grades 9-12. I'm in a class with FRESHMEN!!!! And of course there's like... no real lectures since we're all learning different things. We spent most of the day reading. I haaaaate reading. I don't learn very well if no one explains stuff to me. And I feel stupid asking the teacher too many questions.
Not to mention, I went from being a contender for junior prom queen to social outcast. The locals don't seem to like "outsiders" too much. They kept calling me all of these words I didn't understand behind my back.. and one of the girls stole my fuzzy bunny pen. I SAW her take it out of my bag when I was coming back in from lunch and she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about.
I can't even try to make friends because I had to go home right after school. I'm still grounded.
And I haven't seen Sutton since I got caught sneaking in after I snuck out with him and got my phone taken away.
Haven't seen Ash either.
I hate Hawaii. Have I mentioned that yet?
current mood: lonely
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| Monday, May 5th, 2003
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2:32 pm
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sohidethelast
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"... Do I hafta go?"
He released a faint sigh, the busywork of hands pausing for a moment before he resumed the menial task of folding clothes. The scent of clean laundry filled the bedroom, two piles set out on the bed ... one composed of earth toned slacks and shirts, the other of brightly colored shorts and jumpers .. recently storebought.
"It's gonna be fun, sissy, you'll see.. There will be other little girls your age. I'm sure they'll all be excited to meet you."
He could only hope. He was 99% positive that Avie was going to have a blast tomorrow, and that she'd return to him with stories of art class and a new teacher, and maybe even the other girls. Yet there was that lingering over protective 1% of Nevan that was afraid his darling daughter wouldn't fit it, wouldn't make friends, wouldn't like the teacher or .. or .. something. He had always sworn he wasn't going to be one of those parents who cries on his child's first day of school, but now he just wasn't so sure.
"Yeah.. but why can't you just teach me here? I don't wanna go..."
She looked up at him from her own less productive sock matching task, her hair bobbing in two messy pigtails, a picture of Hello Kitty plastered across her pink t-shirt. There was a little gap in her front teeth, shy one front tooth, a reminder of last month's tumble from the jungle gym. Thinking about it made her a little sad . . . she would never see that jungle gym again. But she was a big girl now, going to go to Kindergarten and everything, and big girls didn't get sad. And anyways .. she liked the beach.
"You know I would love that, baby, but it's something we both have to do. I'll be there somedays.. "
Provided the miniscule staff decided to keep him on. In a school so small, a music teacher wasn't exactly necessary .. yet it couldn't hurt to have him come in every couple of weeks, at least for the young ones. Hands reached for one of the last items in the yet-to-be-folded pile, picking it up .. straightening it .. then turning a bit to face Avie.
"Hun, this isn't the striped one is it?"
She looked on over, eyes wide and animated as those of most lively children, and replied.
"No, izza brown one.. gotta stain on it, Daddy."
He nodded, folding it and setting it aside from the rest of the pile .. yet when he reached for the bedspread again, he was thwarted by the quick, tiny hand of his daughter. She was so very quiet for a child. Miniature fingers pressed a corner of fabric into his palm before retreating just as quickly.
"Thassa striped one."
He smiled a bit, listening to her as she gathered socks up in her arms, bare feet pattering along the floorboard as she made for the dresser.
"Thank you sweety." He stood, gathering his own clothes with one arm as he left the other free, hand raised to about his hip .. counting one, two, three short steps for his own dresser. The room's acoustics suggested it was larger, and he'd be damned if he hadn't run himself into either the bed or his amplifier at least three times yesterday. But that came with a new house, new furniture, new everything. He heard Avie close the sock drawer and clamber up onto his bed, bouncing a little .. a squeal of boxsprings that was all too familiar.
"I put the picture of Mommy on my dresser."
He smiled weakly, "Good idea, V. And do stop jumping on the bed."
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| Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
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6:50 pm - Just when you think you’ve put it all behind you…
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gena
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Robert sent me an e-mail. It’s not like it’s a new development or anything. I’ve had it sitting in my in box for weeks, when Elias was still around. I should have just deleted it right there and then, I know. But for some sadistic reason I couldn’t quite bring myself to click the stupid delete button and worse still, today I read it.
I just feel so… so angry. I mean, how dare he! Contacting me after so long, after everything he put me through. I wish he would just let sleeping dogs lie. Apparently my “darling” sister gave him my e-mail address… I can’t believe she’d be so fucking stupid; I have a mind to tell her as much too.
The e-mail was filled with his pathetic apologies and how he was so very sorry. Sorry he’d left me, sorry for all his broken promises, and sorry our baby died. He also went on to say that he wants to, no sorry… he “needs” to see me. He wants me to go to London where he has a gym at the Ritz Hotel, “Robert at the Ritz”. Can you believe it?
Well, he’s about three years too late for sorry as far I’m concerned. Just look how I am after reading his blasted e-mail. God only knows what I would have done if he had said it all to me in person. Besides, I don’t really see what good can come from opening old wounds. I very nearly died and he abandoned me to go back to his dragon of a wife and all to save his already eroding marriage; Funnily enough there was no mention of her. I wonder if his sham of a marriage has finally come crashing down around him, and that’s why he wants to meet?
Though as angry as I feel, I must admit to being a tad curious as to his reasons for getting in touch. Call me a cynic, but I’m not buying by his apologetic note. Which leave me with a new dilemma… Do I stay here on Molokai? Or do I go to London and see what this is really all about?
Either way it shall have to wait. I’ve arranged to meet a friend and I don’t want to be late, so I’m off to get ready.
Later…
current mood: angry
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| Monday, August 25th, 2003
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11:34 am - Needs
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betweenmadness
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The sound still screamed through her mind- a loud, reverberating noise that seemed trapped in her skull, forever bouncing and skittering off the inside. That sound, woke her up.
Panting, she couldn’t seem to catch her breath, perspiration slicked her body and for a moment, as she tried to blink away the after images, she couldn’t feel the nagging pain that chewed through her ribcage. Slowly though, that pain came to light and it brought with it awareness, and she remembered that it was just a dream. A dream that she’d had more nights than not the past few months, a dream she prayed every night she would stop having- a dream that always left her breathing hard and afraid to leave her bed.
“It’s just a dream, Jolie.” Her voice was soft, afraid to be too loud in the raging silence that swathed her bedroom. She was alone, not a soul lived her with her. No one to make a peep, no one to sleep with the fan on instead of off, not even a dog to lick her toes while she slept and it was always right after those dreams that her apartment seemed the most silent, the most empty.
The clock glowed the time, 3:00 AM. When she’d looked last it had been almost 1:00. Would she get any rest tonight? Most likely not, just like the nights before. She’d fallen off the horse and was too afraid to get back on it. She didn’t even want to admit that, it was too embarrassing. Her shoulder still didn’t work right, her cast was another few weeks from coming off and damn if her ribs didn’t still feel bruised. It was all too much of a reminder. The flowers that sat wilting on the counter in the kitchen, the cards that were stuffed in the top drawer of her dresser, the weekly visits to the Physical Therapist, all of it was too much of a reminder- a reminder of her failure, and of her near end.
Throwing the blankets off herself she stood on wobbly legs and walked the walk of someone not quite ready to wake up, not yet fully aware. She stumbled to the kitchen and flicked the light on, blinking her eyes shut several times until the sudden light was bearable. There on the off-white ‘fridge was a scrap of paper. It had a number scrawled on it in black pen, 884-0981. Reaching up, she pulled it from under the magnet. She was going to make herself call in the morning, well after the sun came up. She had to. She needed to. Rich told her to call, he told her she could take the place as long as she wanted. He’d said it would be good medicine.
She pulled the phone off it’s base and eagerly made her way back to the bed. Getting up always seemed to help her sleep better after the dreams. She wished she could throw herself on the bed and lay where she landed, but instead she carefully climbed in and pulled the sheets around her half-clad body. The phone and the scrap of paper went under the pillow, she was going to call in the morning. She was. Then she was going to call and book a flight to the island after Rich gave her the go ahead. She was going to stop having these dreams.
___
Her flight was on time, a miracle in the way of flights. Rich had helped her book the flight. She’d fly to the mainland and charter a flight to the island of Molakai when she was ready. She stood watching her plane taxi to their loading area. She could see herself in the reflection of the window. She was tall, and thin with long, straight black hair. So many times her co-workers had tried to get her to cut it, but she’d refused. Maybe she should, but she always chickened out. But it was her eyes in the reflection that bothered her the most. They were sad.
Everyone had noticed the change in her, where she was once outgoing she had become shy. Where she used to laugh and make jokes, she sat silently and watched. Even today she had not said goodbye to anyone, she had not told anyone but Rich. Sure, they were going to be mad at her but she felt the need to just go. As if everything inside her were hopped up on speed and trying to fly, she wanted to just go and everything seemed to only be slowing her down.
She felt a little more at ease, her bags were checked, she had a small carry on and they had just announced boarding for her flight. Things were moving. Odd, because Jolie was the sort of person who really didn’t like too much change, or so she had thought. She’d had so much change in her life that she’d always tried to have as many constants as possible, but now. Now that all seemed like dust on the wind- now she was all too ready to board that plane.
current music: Chevelle - Send the Pain Below
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| Saturday, August 23rd, 2003
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3:24 am - Too much thinking is bad...
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exquisitetribut
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*It was the crack of dawn when the bare feet of Makayla carried her down towards the ocean shore. A large blanket with colors of the sunrise was wrapped around her body, keeping in her body heat. Her sleepy brown eyes gazed out towards the horizon where the sun began to fill the sky with gentle colors. Finding herself a nice dry spot in the sand, she slowly sat herself down, and brought her legs to her chest and wrapped the blanket around her, snuggling herself. Closing her eyes, and whispering a prayer to herself, and to her mother who rested in the heavens. This was always a ritual for her, no matter how little sleep or how much she did not want to do this, but it had to be done.
After her prayer, she opened her eyes once more to notice that the starry night has faded away into shades of pastel pinks, oranges, and lavenders. This would be a beautiful moment to share with somebody close. Just the thought of that brought out a deep sigh.
Ahh yes..things on the island are having its perks now and days. She got a new tattoo on her lower back. The tattoo artist, or Jeremy seemed like a cool cat. He has a really cute dog too. She’s been meaning to thank him, but it seems as though he disappeared into thin air. There was also Jomo, she watched him ride some killer waves the other day. After some surfing, they both chilled at the beach and talked. He mentioned his new club opening up a while back and she would possibly work there as a go-go dancer. But family issues came up which prevented her from going. Damn older brothers and their baby mother dramas. She had saved up just enough money to find a new place to live and two months rent. What else has happened in her life…well she did go to a pretty cool party that Flick and Ryan had at their place. They seem like they’re some cool people to hang out with. She also met this guy Sutton who is also from Maui, and his chubby dog. He seems like someone that could be a really good friend.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a group of surfers, obviously a tribe with similar tattoos that decorated their biceps, were talking about catching their first waves of the morning. One more sigh escaped from her lips, she needed to have some peace and quiet so she could have time to think. But thinking can be bad sometimes. Oh well, another day in paradise.*
current mood: lonely
current music: "Let the Bodies Hit The Floor" -Drowning Pool
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3:09 am - It's the day that never ends...
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egyptionrain
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*Faith settled into her chair, she'd become quite used to taking time out of her busy day now to write. She found that after a good run down of her day, she seemed more relaxed... less uptight. Finally that slim right hand coiled over that pen and the point of the pen was dipped down to meet the page.*
"Dear lord, today was... eventful. I needed to take Admiral into get his first shots. And let me tell you something, if a Newfoundland doesn't want to do something, nothing short of hell rising up is going to make that dog do it. After almost two hours of pulling and pushing, Admiral finally was in the waiting room of the vet clinic. Once the shot was given though, he must have whined and blubbered until lunch, a good bowl of ground round cleared his puppy troubles right up." *Faith smiled as she patted the pup's head who was all too happily laying beside her feet.*
"In five days the new school year starts, and I have to tell you, I'm not looking forward to it just like the kids. When you live in a place so beautiful, who would ever want to be inside? Not me, I tell ya that. But the schooling is for the best, maybe I can set up something so we can have our classes outside near the beach. No sense of being inside on such beautiful days out here. It's almost like summer never seems to end." *Faith sighs, but somehow summer had finally come to an end.*
"I finally met the owner of the hotel this afternoon, I believe his name was Damon. Now he had style, and Charm, the kind of charm that makes you blush and those dimples when he smiles that most women would kill for... hmm, Dimples..." *Faith caught herself rambling and began to laugh, it wasn't like her to say more then two sentences about a man but she thought about maybe making the whole entry about him. She shook her head, no that was never a good idea.*
"And Admiral is so vicious, when Damon fist approached he could have been a stocker or a killer, and what was Admiral doing? I'll tell you, he was eatting a stick...! The nerve of some dogs, real good guard dog. Yeah right. But I tell you, I must be off, tomorrow Admiral and I are going for a swim in the ocean." *With that Faith placed the pen back beside the piece of paper she had just written her inner most thoughts on. Then stood from her chair, turned off the lamp and left the room.*
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Eve 6 "Inside Out"
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5:06 am - Le Bleu Ne Lui Va Pas
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gena
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- The evening free, Gena sat curled up on her overstuffed navy sofa with the latest book she had on the go- Ann Rice’s blood and gold. Nothing but a thigh length scarlet satin robe draped over her perfectly formed, feminine curves for modesty. While her sapphire eyes trailed across line after line of tiny black print, converting each sentence into the most vibrant images within her mind’s eye. Eerie gothic images of vampires, she loved that stuff. Growing up, when other little girls were daydreaming about being a beautiful princess, she’d pretend to be one of living dead.
She’d had enough of feeling blue, down and depressed. Okay so Elias had gone, but he wasn’t the first man to waltz in and out of her life within the blink of an eye and no doubt he wouldn’t be last. There was her father Oliver, Robert… the man she thought she was going to marry. But she’d coped then and would again. She just had to find a way to get him out of her system, but how? Another man? New hobby? Maybe even a small business venture? Now that would keep her busy, it would certainly take her mind off Elias and she’d hardly touched her trust fund, so money wouldn’t be much of a problem…
But she had to do something, because as her mother would say “Le bleu ne lui va pas” [Blue doesn’t suit her]. -
current mood: contemplative
current music: |
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| Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
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12:28 pm - Now I'm here...
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traqicpoet
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Here I am... in the islands, finally settled in with a flat near Paphoku beach and with a pianoman job. Nervous? I still am. I can honestly say that for the first time in my life I'm actually honest to God nervous. Every other place I've lived there has atleast been someone I knew. Someone I could go to. But here, it's different. It's just me and my wits out here. I'm always up for a challenge, and this could be a daunting one with starting out in a completely new place, far, far away from the mainland. But, I'm still ready to take on whatever is tossed my way. Hey, atleast I got a place to live and a job. That's something similar to half way there!
More to come later...
current mood: excited
current music: "Shine"- David Gray
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| Friday, August 22nd, 2003
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4:20 pm - Oops...
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gena
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I feel so bad, really I do. One of my clients started crying today. It was her first weight session and so I decided to put her on the leg press, 40 to failure and tears. Still, that’s what they pay me for- to push them. I’ll never forget the time this one woman threw up after her first time, all over the gym carpet… Icky.
I seem to be upsetting a few people lately, well perhaps not upset, more like insult. The other day I stumbled upon this vibrant yellow house on the wayward side of the island, quite a trek from my little villa. But anyhow, there was this guy, Sutton. Singing Elvis at the top of his lungs and well, you know me. Ever ready with a sarcastic tongue I made my presence known with a kind of insulting quip about, god forbid “The King”. I just couldn’t help myself.
Turns out he’s a marine biologist by trade. With a huge scar on his thigh, from a… How did he put it? “A big ass Tiger shark.” Which he treated me to a viewing of over pineapple quarters, not that they seemed nearly as appealing after hearing the story behind the shark bite. The attack killed his friend… sad.
All in all I think Sutton’s going to be fun to have around, if only to wind him up about “The King.”
current music: |
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| Wednesday, August 20th, 2003
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11:54 pm - letter to a dead friend
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blacksandtide
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Nahoa,
How many times after you died did I scream for you to come back. I knelt in a pool of your congealing blood and I held what was left of you. How many times did I whisper to your memory at night that I wish it could have been me. If only I had died.
I think that fate got things wrong. You would have brought so much more to the world. You left so much undone, the world was not ready to release you. I was not ready to say good-bye. I can hardly bear to think of all the wonderful things you could have accomplished.
I am wasting space. Space you could have used. My career is stalled, my heart a wreck. I don't have anyone, Nahoa. You were my only true friend, and I lost you nearly two years ago. I am suspended in my memories. I just need you here. I need to know what you think I should do. I need the guidance of a friend, a partner.
I am adrift at sea. I am tired of being alone, I am tired of loneliness.
But don't you know that the only companion when your alone, is loneliness.
-Sutton
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| Thursday, August 21st, 2003
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6:02 pm
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egyptionrain
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*Faith had finally had a moment of peace after another one of those long, tiresome days. By the time she got home it was far too late to do much other then grade her papers from the day. It didn't take long to shove the essays away. In a place like this how could she focus? So she began to write, about nothing really, yet everything all at once.*
"This island makes me home sick for the busy streets of San Jose." *Faith chewed at the cap of her pen, something that she herself yelled at her students for but now couldn't seem but help doing it herself.* "The life never seems to die down here, much like my California. Yet, something isn't quite the same. There is no sound of traffic or the smell of coffee everywhere you turn. I have yet to see a Starbucks." *Faith laughed as she tapped the pen tip on the piece of paper.* "Infact, it seems to be all natural around here. Even the people, the students seem to be the most like 'main landers' in the whole bunch. I had the..." *Faith stops for a moment in order to think about how to put this gently.* "odd experience of meeting one of the locals. Sutton Anderson I believe his name was, and he wouldn't have lasted five minutes on the main land. I don't ever believe he's ever set foot in a mall before, however he did mention Elvis, maybe the island wasn't all bad." *With that thought Faith set off to find some place to eat dinner, she wasn't settled enough to cook quite yet, nor had found the time to get herself settled. In about a half hour she returned, the pen and paper where she'd left it.*
"So quaint" *The pen stroked across the page.* "Everytime I find some reason to go back to the mainland, I find something perfect that keeps me here. For example the little shops you could just never find in the middle of a busy town. Or the wonderful sunsets you couldn't see over the tall sky scrapers. I have in no way contented myself here, but perhaps the pictures of home will help out. Or going to a shop and buying a furry little pet, just after these papers are done..."
*With that Faith dropped the pen, returning to the stack of essays that still sat before her. She had a long night ahead of her and intended to take it upon herself to pick up a pet of some sort in roughly a half an hour, the fun was picking out the furball after all.*
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