| when you wake up... |
[06 Jul 2003|09:53am] |
This morning when I woke, Ruka was gone. She had come to see me at the cost of her own paradise nearly, and she didn't even say goodbye.
I suppose in retrospect it was probably for the better. I may have broken down and wept. Hisoka hates to see me sad so perhaps she understood that and made it quick and painless. Fast. Just like before when we were seperated.
Nothing to be done over it now. Very little a restricted Shinigami like myself can do anyway. Besides she wanted me to be happy so I'm going to try my best to be so. Starting with teaching Hisoka the waltz. After he wakes up of course. It's amazing, I actually woke up before he did.
I think I'll go make breakfast for him.
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[06 Jul 2003|11:43am] |
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I met Tsuzuki's sister.
I'm still not entirely sure what to think of her. She made dinner for Watari, Hijiri, Tsuzuki and I (she can actually cook) which was nice. However, during dinner, she asked Tsuzuki about his death. He got pretty upset, the kind where all most people see is a sort of quiet melancholy. I hate it when he's like that.
After dinner, Ruka decided that I needed to learn how to dance. She switched off with Tsuzuki for my lessons, and somehow an arguement got started between Tsuzuki and I. I guess he was still depressed from dinner, but he was being so harsh on himself. It wasn't even his fault, really.
I tried to make him feel better, but it wasn't working too well until he remembered that I was empathetic, and therefore feeling his pain all too well. So he decided to stop dwelling on it for me. Problem is, I don't want him repressing it, and I'm worried that may be what's going to happen. He said that he'd stop putting himself down, but with memories like his...I have to wonder if he won't just try to bury them. I'm beginning to wonder again if being an empath does more harm than good.
He cheered up a bit later, but I can only wonder how long it will last. He's been acting really strange lately.
Damn it...I wish he'd let me help.
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