ShinigamiFiles' Blurty Day [entries|friends|calendar] ShinigamiFiles [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[11 Jun 2003|01:22am] [ mood | content ] Tsuzuki punched Takara...hard enough to go through him. Jerk had it coming, but Tsuzuki was pretty upset afterwards. And bloody. It was all over his shirt and down his hand and arm. And of course, that meant when I tried to make him feel better, and we ended up kissing in the hall he got blood all over my clothes. Not that it matters much, as a few minutes later, I shrunk back to my sixteen year old self, and my clothes were suddenly much too big, and therefore of no use. So Tsuzuki and I went home to clean up and try to salvage his suit. We were greeted at teh door by the repairman, who informed us that only one shower was working, and it would be turned off in about twenty minutes. It was right after this that Tsuzuki called my attention to the large amount of blood in my hair that would need to be washed out. Drying blood feels disgusting. So, with no time for separate showers, we took one together. With shorts on, because he knew I was uneasy. At any rate, it wasn't so bad, except when I kind of hurt his feelings when I snapped at him for startling me. He was only trying to help. We dried off, and ditched work, choosing to spend the rest of the day at home. We talked for a while. For some reason that is beyond me, he seems to take a great deal of amusement from making me blush. Some of his comments.... He decided that we needed nicknames for each other. Apparently I am 'Kitty' or 'Neko-chan'; whichever strikes his fancy at the moment. He's always telling me that I'm just like a cat. I didn't know what to call him. Baka seemed insensitive at that point (I remember when I wouldn't have cared. Shows how far I've come.). So he told me that I could call him Asato. Sort of a twisted version of a nickname, considering it's his first name, but since everyone else calls him Tsuzuki....At any rate, it shows that he wants to let me in; that he's willing to let down his barriers for me. That night--last night--we made love. I never understood how people could call it that before last night, but the feelings with Tsuzuki were all care and joy and love. Nothing dark or cold--I knew it wouldn't be like that...but I hadn't known how pure it could be. I'm glad it happened and...I hope we do it more often. post comment

mind racing . . . [11 Jun 2003|10:10am] [ mood | indescribable ] Well I don't know if Takara will be up to his same old tricks concerning Watari and I since the person who employed him was Muraki. We found out thanks to Tsuzuki punching straight through him and injuring him very badly, that Takara had had his eyes removed and were replaced with mechanical ones like the one he has himself. I guess Muraki used them to also watch us whenever Takara was near any of us . . . the pictures didn't suffice I guess. . . also Muraki placed some kind of spell on Takara cause he doesn't remember what he's been doing for a while now. I guess I can't be mad at him because it was Muraki's doing. And Muraki is behind this because Takara told us under his spell and also Muraki sent me an email. . . Hisoka figured that Takara proably gave it to him cause I don't know how he got it otherwise. . . he said I would play my violin to the death march for those who will be gone forever. . . I don't know if he meant me but I doubt it. I just have this feeling but I worry for the others. . . he keeps going after Tsuzuki as it is, then Hisoka pissed him off big time by destroying that head thing back in Kyoto and then . . . he said he was disappointed in me for being with another . . . he sent me on to be with Tsuzuki as Tsuzuki's servant or to just make Tsuzuki pissed or maybe both. . . so I fear for Watari. . . Muraki is insane. . . and he will do stuff to make things go his way. . . I can remember what he use to do to me when I wouldn't play my violin for him. . . Tsuzuki and Hisoka are suppose to be leaving today to go and face him. . . I pray that they return home. . . Watari is worried about me now I guess. . . I can see him glancing over at me seeing me look sad as I write this. . . I must look pathetic. I mean here I am suppose to be older now which will wear off anytime now (Hisoka is back to normal but because of my slow healing I'm staying like this a bit longer I guess) and act older. I felt older and more proud but I'm turning back into that scared kid again. . . I need to stop this. I shouldn't show my fear to others and learn to face my fears. I care very much for everyone and I need to be strong for them and myself. especially Watari. . . I need to be strong for him. show no fear and be there to tell him it's alright. . . I mean I'm so weak that the other day when I could hear all the office workers snickering over some new photos that had Watari and I being together with private moments I just snapped. . . .I think I scared him but I just couldn't see straight. . . I need to control my emotions. . . and just ignore those people. I also showed my weakness to Watari yesterday. . . He wasn't able to come home the night before because he needed to run more tests and stay with Takara. I went home and it seemed so dark and cold. . . I was lonely. . . I didn't go back to the lab and stayed with Watari like I should have. . . no I jsut stayed at home sitting in the dark thinking about him. I couldn't even sleep I missed being with him. . . he brings me such great warmth cause I can feel how much he cares for me. and . . . I'm sounding pathetic again. Watari last night surprised me. He missed me a lot too that night and he came up behind me while I was finishing dinner and hugged me tightly. he didn't want to let go and neither did I. After dinner though I went to go take a shower. . . I had grabbed clothes that were small and went to go change but I thought Watari was in his room. . . . He was in the living room and he saw me with the towel just wrapped around me waist. He came up to me and embraced me and after I had asked and he said he wanted to see me, I just dropped the towel and the clothes I had. . . I could feel the flush on my cheeks and they reddened as he told me I was beautiful. He laid me on the couch and did what I wanted to do to repay him the other night. . . he said he had dreamed of doing it to me and last night he held me close. I think I was trembling. He's seen me just as I am. how vulnurable I am and who I am. I'm glad I could show him myself though. I better get back to work for I'm blushing and I think that everyone might get suspious. post comment

Interesting evening [11 Jun 2003|05:17pm] [ mood | blushy ] [ music | Iman - The Neverending Story ] Last night... was... um.... interesting. I got to go home finally, and Hijiri made dinner and we ate together. All that was normal. And then, he went to take a shower... and aparrently... he grabbed the wrong clothes, because he came back out in the towel... I couldn't help but stare at him! He's gorgeous! And well... we started talking and... he asked me if I wanted him to drop the towel.... I got up from the couch and embraced him... and he did. Hijiri is very beautiful. I held him close, then asked him... if I could do to him, what he wanted to do to me the other night... and I did. I saw a side of Hijiri I had never seen. He... oh, how do I explain... he seemed to be afraid. He was shaking. I asked him if he was alright. He said that he was, and just nuzzled closer to me. He looks smaller without his clothing on. Almost frail. I love him <3 This morning... there were pictures circulating around the office of what I did last night. I can't believe it! Takara's up to it again! Or maybe the apartment's bugged. I probably should have put some thought into it before I did that in the living room. ;;; *blush* I've been snatching them up left and right and Tsuzuki really scared a couple of office girls over the pictures. I've burnt them with some of that special acid in the trashcan. post comment

navigation [ viewing | June 11th, 2003 ] [ go | previous day|next day ]