| a promise ring... |
[30 May 2003|02:32pm] |
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I gave Hisoka a ring. Not an engagement ring or anything, as some people at work teased us today, but a promise ring. It's pretty simple, just a silver band, with "I love you, this I promise Hisoka" on the inside. Nothing too expensive.
He's not been sleeping well recently because of dreams about his death. It's all my fault too, for making him feel an experience similar to Muraki's touch. I couldn't do anything to help him either. He just would loose more and more sleep from them. So I thought maybe if he had something around his finger, that he could feel, it would be enough to drag him out of the dreams and back into our shallow reality.
Afterall, we are the ones who do this to ourselves. At least I know I do. Sometimes I just let the depression and sorrow swallow me up, because I'm too tired to do anything else. Maybe, just maybe, knowing how I feel will help him. I hope at least.
Watari's sick. Has been for a few days. Hijiri's taking half days, to take care of him, and to do both their work. It's sweet of him. I wonder if Hisoka would nurse me back to health if I ever became ill. <3 Hee hee, probably really grumpily he would. Hisoka doesn't have a good bedside manner.
Things are really quiet lately. Muraki's casefile is getting thicker though. Hisoka and I have been gathering information about him and found it coming out of our ears. Hisoka's really good at hacking, which is good because I completely suck at it. :\ I'm much more on the field type of work. But anyway, we're getting plenty of information and ties to him on the crimes. It's like he wants us to find it though. Soon, something has to snap and we'll be able to make a move.
I just hope it's not going to be yet another Kyoto all over again.
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| family. . . |
[30 May 2003|05:14pm] |
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I'm kinda depressed today. Watari and I talked last night while I was taking care of him. He has a bit of a cold. anyways, we talked about our families. I mean we're both only children and we had only one parent that took care of us most of our lives. My mother died when I was still an infant and didn't know her but my father brought me up. He meant a lot to me and pushed me to follow my dreams. then he died not too long before I met Tsuzuki and Hisoka the first time. I miss my father. he meant a lot to me and I know how Watari feels about his mother. he keeps tell me I'm like her. even last night when I was trying to make him better. . . . anyways. . . I saw Tsuzuki at a jewelry store after I picked up some stuff for Watari. He didn't tell me what he was up to but he's planning something. Him and Hisoka seem a lot happier today. I still can't figure out what's going on but proably I'll find out later. anyways. . . .
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[30 May 2003|10:15pm] |
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Last night I came home, planning to stay awake until I was too exhausted to dream. My nightmares came back recently. At any rate, I'd checked out a pretty big book from the library to read, and I also killed some time just watching a movie with Tsuzuki.
When I went back to my room, I found a box on my pillow.
Tsuzuki bought me a promise ring.
Not that I'd ever admit this to anyone, but I cried when I opened the box. It was just...I know how tight money is, and I know how much he loves sweets, and the fact that he went out--for no particular reason really--and bought this for me and had it engraved just...really made me feel good.
I went to thank him, and he told me that it was to keep my nightmares away. He's more perceptive than I'd thought. Apparently he'd noticed that I hadn't really been sleeping well, plus he realised the reason for it.
The feelings attached to the ring are comforting. It's hard to explain without making the gift sound somehow trivial, but it would have been just as comforting if he'd given me something he's owned for a while. Something that's had time to become attuned to him. The feeling on the ring may fade eventually, not because it isn't strong, but because he didn't have it long enough for his energy to really permeate it.
I really do like it. It's something I can keep with me always. Even if the emotional traces do fade, it's still physical proof that he loves me.
It's hard to explain.
I think I'm smiling, sitting here typing this. Maybe I should go find him. He likes it when I smile.
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