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[13 May 2003|01:57pm] |
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My mind is still in a mess. I keep thinking about everything that's happened. I keep thinking about what I should have done to have not ended up like this with this whole mess but everything seems to turn out wrong. I know I shouldn't dwell on the past but I just can't help it. Watari is so down it's beginning to worry me. He keeps getting frustrated over this project he's working with in his room. I keep trying to get him to get some rest and sometimes it works but most of the time it doesn't. I just wish he would get some more sleep to catch up on the sleep he's lost. I mean this is like a non payed vacation so he should at least rest up. I have gotten him to sleep the last two nights thankfully, but they haven't been for long times. He'll atleast get some sleep when I make him by laying there with him. I think his dreams are troubling him cause he keeps embracing me around my waist while nuzzling up close to me. I don't mind it though. I like to be close to him. . . I feel that safe warmth when I'm near him even more then when I was with Tsuzuki. . . . Tsuzuki came by the other day. He came by to apoligize for Hisoka. I was actually not surprised that he came by. I know that Hisoka would never do this and I guess Tsuzuki felt like he should do it. I wish he didn't though. It just made him feel sad from what I could see. I don't like to see Tsuzuki sad. But he offered us money to pay for our rent. I gave it back to him and both Watari and I said we would be alright. He left and I think he stopped by the landlady's office and gave her the money. I can't figure out how he has 300 bucks considering. . . but I went by her office today to ask about that and she's like well only 100 due and told me that a man had stopped by and dropped off the money. I'm going to pay back Tsuzuki for that. That was his sweets fund I think. but it'll have to wait till both Watari and I get paid. I'm finished with the work I brought home and now I can't figure what to do with myself. Maybe I'll clean. This apartment looks fine but it'll be something to do.
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[13 May 2003|04:28pm] |
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The past few days have been...strange.
Tsuzuki got himself turned into a puppy, and I ended up getting Watari suspended from work. I didn't mean to really. I was tired of him covering up his experiments--it always made things worse. This time he'd even sent Hijiri to break into mine and Tsuzuki's apartment in an attempt to keep the slip-up a secret. Nothing had made him see how much trouble his cover-ups caused though, so I went and explained the situation to Konoe.
I didn't even want to do that. I felt like a child going to tattle tale on a liar. It didn't turn out right, either. Instead of Watari being banned from the lab like I'd expected, he was suspended without pay, along with Hijiri, who truly hates me now.
Like I care what he thinks of me.
At any rate, I talked to Tsuzuki about what I'd done. He wasn't disapointed in me, despite the fact that he'd given up his sweets fund to pay Watari's rent. I know how much he like sweets, so I'll probably be spending part of my savings on food for him, considering it's partly my fault he gave up his money. I have a good bit saved up from work, anyway. It's not like I ever bought much more than essentials.
After we had out chat, we went out to dinner. It was a conversational failure. I had asked him if he wanted to go because I was trying to be more open...but we barely spoke at all. I suppose it was better than our first meal there...which was also our first meal together. We went to the same Chinese restaurant that we had eaten at when we first met.
Fitting place for a new beginning.
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