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[25 Apr 2003|02:53pm] |
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I went and talked to Tsuzuki last night. He hadn't been to work in two days, but no one else would go see him. He was drunk, which means he was depressed. I don't understand why he does that to himself. He's ripping himself to shreds inside, I felt it. He feels lonely and trapped. He's tired of...everything. He told me that he owes debts to the Shoukan division, and that when his three hundred years of servitude are over he'll be fired.
I just got out of a meeting with Konoe. He's agreed to let me split Tsuzuki's burden. I will be working for free for the next hundred and fifty years. It's not like I'm good for much else, and as the division will be supplying room and board for the term, things shoud work out. I haven't told Tsuzuki yet. I don't know how he'll react, but there was no way I was just going to stand aside and let the first person who accepted me withot question destroy himself.
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| Rejection |
[25 Apr 2003|02:53pm] |
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After drinking heavily the entirety of yesterday, I dreampt that Hisoka came to see me. He apologized. First hint that it was a dream. Second hint? I kissed him. Third hint? I asked him to sleep with me. Last hint?
I woke up alone and cold this morning.
At least it wasn't a nightmare like usual. No blood or guts or screams....
Today feels like a dream too. I came into work late, and no one said a word. Not even Tatsumi bothered me. It made me think about what Hisoka said in my dream "We're worried about you and we're giving you space." . It's come true. Then Hisoka told me that he had spoken to Konoe. He's taken half of my repayment to the division for himself. We're both working for free now.
I don't know what to feel. I'm still dazed and hung over from yesterday. Maybe when I'm sober I'll be able to tell if I'm angry or not.
I think some nice pink elephants would make this day a lot better.
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