| knocked out tired. . . |
[22 Apr 2003|12:10pm] |
|
I finally got to snatch a lap top to use to update. . . I know I haven't updated in a while but it's been very bad times I guess you can say. When Watari and I met up with Tsuzuki and Hisoka. . . He showed up. He invited Tsuzuki to dinner the next night. I didn't think he should go. Muraki said something to me but I didn't know what to do. I wanted to kill him right then and there but I was scared. Tsuzuki stood between us, I was grateful that he was concerned about me but I didn't like the fact that he accepted Muraki's offer and neither did anyone else. We couldn't stop him but atleast Watari mad a camera from the broken pieces of a camera that was spying on Tsuzuki. I heard something about there being explict pictures of him??? He recived them and wasn't happy. This was after he went to for a walk and he ended up at a bar. We should have stayed with him but Hisoka and I got into another fight. Watari and I left him in the hotel but when we couldn't find Tsuzuki, he did at a bar. Poor Tsuzuki. He seemed to feel better when Hisoka found him which is important. Well the next day came and until that night, we went to do some tasks. Tsuzuki and Tatsumi-san went to do some souviner shopping, Watari got some sleep since he stayed up all night, and then Hisoka and I were paired up to go dig up some info on that demon. . . .After the night before of us getting at each other, I was less then thrilled to be partnering up with him. But we had no choice. We found nothing, every lead was a dead end. Well we got back to the hotel in time to see Tsuzuki off. When he got to the resturant I couldn't bear to watch. I know what Muraki did to me and I know he's done horrible things. . . . I just couldn't watch. Then apparently he throw himself at Muraki to learn more of what happened the last time he was in Kyoto. Muraki said some stuff that must have hurt Tsuzuki. . . . Tatsumi-san went to help him but Muraki took Tsuzuki away. Then the demon was outside our hotel room. We followed it back to his lab. We saw Muraki about to rape Tsuzuki but there was this floating head in this huge tank. Hisoka destroyed it and the water seemed to have killed Muraki. We got out only to face the demon who was now out of control since it had no master. . . . . Tsuzuki was out, Watari was looking for a potion, Hisoka's rounds went out and Tatsumi-san was about to attack when I just felt over welmed to play my violin. . . After that I woke from my trance to see the demon was gone. . . I passed out after that and woke up in the infimary. Watari was there watching over me. . . I was glad too. I was happy to see his face and that he was taking care of me. It helped me to relax. I haven't seen anyone else but I don't think I will for awhile. I'm really tired. . . I guess whatever I did drained me. Watari's coming back gotta go.
|
|
|
[22 Apr 2003|05:36pm] |
|
I made a lot of mistakes this time.
We arrived in Kyoto to find Muraki waiting for us. He presented Tsuzuki with a boquet of roses and an invitation to dinner. Tsuzuki accepted.
I yelled at Tsuzuki for that. It was my first mistake. I think maybe if I hadn't been so angry at him for accepting that he may not have wandered off later. I found him near a bar, half-drunk, and caught in the same dark depression that had claimed him the last time we were in Kyoto.
I got mad at him again. I tried to make him see why he shouldn't go meet Muraki, but he still wouldn't listen to me.
We went back to the hotel, and he left me with Hijiri, and orders to investigate the demon while he and Tatsumi went shopping.
Hijiri and I returned none the wiser for our search just as Watari was fitting a camera onto Tsuzuki's kimono sleeve. Tatsumi promised to help if anything went wrong...then Tsuzuki left.
Letting Tsuzuki walk out that door was my second mistake. We watched as he met Muraki and they started to eat. Then Tsuzuki...that...baka yaro...tried to seduce Muraki! And when Muraki took the bait, I had to sit in the hotel, watching, while Tatsumi teleported in to help.
Tatsumi wasn't fast enough, though. Muraki managed to escape with Tsuzuki.
We were able to find them by tracing Muraki's demon back to his lab. Tatsumi got us in. Muraki was trying to rape Tsuzuki, and the demon was attacking us. In the center of the room was a giant tank containing a floating head. Tsuzuki screamed at me to shoot it. I obeyed without thinking, emptying an entire round into the tank, shattering the glass and destroying the head. The resulting flood of water knocked Muraki over as we escaped with Tsuzuki.
Tsuzuki passed out outside the lab. Hijiri destroyed the demon, then fainted. We returned to JuOhCho.
When Tsuzuki woke up, he came out to the sakura grove to find me. My third mistake was talking to him before I had completely calmed down. I yelled at him again, but he could see right through my facade. "You're not mad at me are you?" He asked me. "You were scared of losing me." Baka. Of course I was scared! I had to sit and watch as Muraki nearly did to Tsuzuki what he did to me! There are no third chances. If Muraki had actually killed him, Tsuzuki would be gone forever.
..............................................
It isn't the end though--Muraki's still alive. My scar hasn't stopped glowing. It burns constantly now, albeit dully. Hopefully it will fade again soon. It's never done this before, and it's starting to worry me...aside from being highly uncomfortable.
|
|
| Kyoto |
[22 Apr 2003|09:20pm] |
|
It was long, drawn out, and it's still not over........
I don't feel like talking, writing, or thinking about it anymore. We destroyed Muraki's purpose, therefore it's alright. But for how long? I don't know.
I had a headache all day. Hisoka and I spoke a little after the trip and our arrival here but the tension we have is still there between us. I wish I could......could explain to him better how I feel about this. Why I did some of the things I did.
But whenever I look into his face, I can't. The words just disappear and leave me standing there, speechless in his full assault of anger, fear and sadness.....
Sadness I caused.
Konoe chewed me out today.............................................. I think I'd rather deal with a hundred lectures from him than look at Hisoka like I had to yesterday.
That said....
I'm going home, and going to bed. And I'm unhooking my phone, because I don't particularly feel like listening to phone calls about me being late for work. I don't think I even want to come in at all anyway. So I probably won't. *sigh* I just need time alone for a while........
Let me pick up my piece and put them back together, minna.
|
|
| Confession |
[22 Apr 2003|11:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
restless |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Cher - Song for the Lonely |
] |
I should have known this would happen...
I had a dream earlier while sitting at Hijiri's bedside... Muraki killed him... again. He died completely this time. Shinigami can die too.... and I couldn't do anything to save him... in fact... I was the reason he was killed...
All those strange... beautiful dreams I've been having... they were all about him. They were all about Hijiri.
I love him.
I'm in love with Hijiri.
And something inside of me is telling me to stay away... to not get involved with him romantically... or bad things will happen to him. I don't want to hurt him... and I never want anything bad to happen to him.
He's in bed sleeping now... I'm tired too... I have to think... good night...
|
|
| why did I do that. . . |
[22 Apr 2003|11:40pm] |
|
I got to get up today after been sleeping. I still didn't feel that good but I wanted to see everyone. Upon Watari's request I ate something and it did make me feel a bit better. After a check up, it was about time to go home and so we got an early leave and I finally got to go home. I felt so much better being home. I went straight to bed and I just got up not too long ago to get some tea waking up from a dream. . .
I saw Watari on the couch again. Does this guy EVER sleep in his bed? Well I went to get him a blanket and I noticed his laptop was opened as I was putting the blanket on him . . . . now I can't stop blushing. I know I shouldn't have done it but I couldn't help it. . . . I just read his journal. . . . I couldn't believe what he wrote. . . I didn't know. . . that he loved me. . . . . . I mean. . . it kinda makes sense. . .but. . .oh gosh. . . . *blushing really red*
|
|