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Friday, November 14th, 2003
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4:12 pm - *Smiles all around*
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emosyke
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nobody is writing in here anymore! :( well. i am. so ha!
*thinks* i just dont know what to write...*goes and looks in archives of funny emails* okay. i found a good one. but i cant remember that thing nikki told me..how to make it so its not all on this page..so uhm. i guess it all will be on this page!!
Monkeys:
The pet store was selling monkeys for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Goddamn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.
I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for awhile, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad. I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed, The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys.
so thats all. i hope other people start posting. or at least read this! *yay* *smile once in a while*
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| Thursday, September 25th, 2003
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11:07 am - newbie
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ubersexipunk
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Hey all,
Just wanted to say hello! I'm a friend of Nikki's and I've been wanting to join this for a while
I'm steph, 15 years old (16 in october) and i live in australia
Ummm I'm not sure what else to say, so more will come l8r
hugs
Steph
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| Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003
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3:00 pm - This is Sally's pic!
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2:41 pm - I have SHEEPS on my FEETS!
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2:21 pm - Hehe!
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losteded
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Watch out for this nasty virus!
VIRUS WARNING
There is a new virus with the code name "work". If you receive "work", from
your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail or any one else, do not touch "work"
under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely.
If you should happen to come in contact with this virus. Put on your jacket
and take two good friends and go straight to the nearest pub. Order three
drinks, drink them swiftly and after repeating this 14 times you will find
that "work" has been completely deleted from your memory!!
Forward this virus warning immediately to at least 5 friends. Should you
realize that you haven't got 5 friends, this means that you are already
infected by this "work" virus, and it controls your whole life.
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| Monday, September 8th, 2003
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6:04 pm - Evil Goblin Poptarts
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6:36 pm - Ahoy there matey!
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losteded
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My pirate name is: Black Jack Kidd
Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!
Grrr, the link won't work cos it's from an email and I'm stupid. Gar!
current mood:  amused
current music: Growltiger's last stand
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| Saturday, September 6th, 2003
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4:10 pm - penguin mayham
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blackgoat666
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"I didnt know running into the wall would hurt as much as it did. But here I am, laying in a pile of my own blood in a coma, hoping that my faithful penguin sends for help. Last time this happened the penguin just called me a pussy, took my shoes, and went to see "The Mask." To this day I still dont know if he liked it, and whenever I ask he just calls me a slut and throws ice cubes at me."
current mood:  satisfied
current music: none
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| Friday, September 5th, 2003
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2:15 pm - Mwah!
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| Thursday, September 4th, 2003
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3:51 am - People!
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losteded
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Why is no-one updating? I know we're all down and stuff but that's why we need to look for things to cheer us up, which will also help cheer other people up.
Ok, go here to hear Elsie the (mad) cow singing.
current mood: insomniac
current music: Elsie singing
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| Saturday, August 30th, 2003
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9:14 pm - cute little picture
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blackgoat666
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current mood:  bored
current music: Dave Matthews ~ Gravedigger
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| Friday, August 29th, 2003
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3:38 pm - Things which have made me happy today
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losteded
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Talking to Lottie again!
Finding out Christina can sing. Go listen to her here
Finding stuff with old memories. I'm going to write up more of this, but for now here is a list my mad friend Lee made, of things for me to do before I'm 100.
1) be happy
2) shag Tommy
3) shag everyone willing
4) shag everyone not willing
5) dye your hair
6) drink till you hit 60
7) shag till your 65
8) relax till your 100 from 65
9) buy a dildo
10) use your dildo
The she writes, "so if you do these things before you're 100 you can say you've lived. So have a very good life. Bye for now, love & sex, Lee. xxx ps. I swear I'm not a ninjo or sycko. Love you loads." Haha!
current mood:  giddy
current music: Frail ~ Christina
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4:20 am - Happynesser!
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losteded
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My friend Sally always makes me smile and feel better, without fail. Here are two recent messages from her in my other journal, these really made me happy:
*huge smiles* postive is always good. :) *feels special* you are so nice to me..your the reason i am postive some of the time. today was a poopy day for friends..and now im happynesser..posivitly! i will definatly go to your happy box...it might just take me a few days..im pretty busy right now...i have homework up to ying yang..lol im on a break right now! *huggles*
*huggles* I LOVE YOU!! that happy box is the best. i barly got to see anything also..i have to go right now..but thank you so much..for just telling me to go there. its really awsome..and i will do more investigating..and figure out how it all works..but not now..school in morning. just wanted to let you know you made me happy when i was really starting to get down! :) *huggles again* *touches..but not now..i need need need to go*
Yay Sally, I'm glad you like this and I was able to make you happy!
Also, here is a very funny convo
current mood:  happy
current music: Yellow submarine
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| Thursday, August 28th, 2003
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8:17 pm - Hehehhe
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blackgoat666
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Well... Just thought I'd post a weird convo between a friend of mine and I...
( convo )
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Marilyn Manson ~ This is the new shit
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| Wednesday, August 27th, 2003
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7:54 pm - Bears overboard!
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losteded
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Hehe, I just saw the episode of Friends where Monica is cooking for this guy who's stoned and he drops gummi bears into a bowl of oreo rings, and he's shouting "help me, I'm drowning" and throwing rings at them. Hehe! He also says the title to my last post. Friends always cheers me up.
Anyway, I have a few different ideas for themes to post about here, and I'm starting with childhood teddies and toys, cos it was thinking about them which gave me the idea for this site. (as well as ryl)
So I'm posting a few pics and sites, hope you have a look and enjoy. Well the sites anyway!
Nikki and friendsHere's me just a few minutes ago, snuggled in a cow sheeping bag thing, with Bedtime Bear, and Noodle and Marshmallow the dragons. (named after Jesh)
My little poniesJust some of my collection from when I was a kid.
Polar bearWhen I worked in Santa's grotto, the first thing I used to do in the morning was run in and him a huge bear hug!
Fairy tales
care bears
My little pony
Disney
current mood: happy
current music: I hate men ~ Kiss me kate
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2:38 pm - KUNG FU *hi-yah*
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blackgoat666
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PICTURE!
KUNGFU KITTIES!
commentary
Grey One: "I will kill you, young white one!"
White One: "ahh! Not if I glare at the ground!"
Grey One: "My plastic sword will slice your paws off!"
White One: "*stands there looking clueless glaring at the ground*"
current mood:  cheerful
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7:31 pm - "Well slap my ass and call me Judy!"
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losteded
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Nikki's way to make a good first impression! This during first coversation with Justin.
N: Oh I should ass you to my melo friends
N: ooh add!
N: not ass!
N: hehe
J: you are already on mine
N: aww cool
N: on your ass?!
N: kidding
N: now I'm giddy
J: yes...on my ass...and I'm giddy too...ha
N: I thought I'd scared you away!
current mood:  giggly
current music: Rock the boat
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12:06 pm - Crazy Conversation.
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keikun
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Tom: Hello.
Meh: Hi.
Tom: My friends are not keeping the ramen sabbath holy.
Meh: Uhm... I'm sorry...?
Tom: Sorry? They are DAMNED. DAMNED, I SAY! DAMNED! YARGH!
Meh: Okay...
Tom: You hate when people do these things, don't you?
Meh: No... I'm just slightly intimidated.
Meh: I do it, too, so I don't hate it.
Tom: Why intimidated? Because I just shouted about how my friends are DAMNED DAMNED DAMNED?
Meh: Yeeess...
Tom: What if I had said they are... damned damned damned?
Tom: Would that have been different?
Meh: No...
Meh: O_o; It's the concept really.
Meh: Not the way you typed it.
Tom: Condemned? Doomed? Most people use doomed.
Meh: And they sponteneuity of it all (did I spell that right?).
Tom: Only they say DOOMED instead of just 'doomed'.
Tom: I don't.
Meh: :\
Tom: That's cliche.
Meh: I... don't say anything. Yes.
Meh: Along those lines, anyway...
Meh: รด.o
Tom: What the Prime Minister needs is some of those frozen biscuits.
Meh: ...yes...
Tom: But no. He thinks that just because he's a sack of potatoes with mechanical arms powered by vanilla pudding that he's exempt from the frozen biscuit law.
Meh: Oookay, then...
Tom: Yeah, that's right. The Queen issued an edict that forces all Prime Ministers to carry around frozen biscuits.
Tom: I can tell by the look on your face that you don't believe me.
Meh: I'm just scared./
Tom: I'm going to send you a transcript of a telegram I received from the Queen herself. It goes: DOT DOT DASH DOT DASH DASH DOT DASH DOT DOT DASH DASH DOT DASH DASH DASH DOT DASH DOT DASH.
Tom: That means "All Prime Ministers must carry frozen biscuits."
Tom: I'm telling the truth.
Meh: Okay...
Tom: This isn't what it used to be.
Tom: I used to be able to actually like doing that.
Meh: What do you mean- Oh.
Meh: Well, people change.
Meh: I used to have fun picking my nose.
Tom: Would you be frightened if you encountered me on the street?
Meh: I'm not sure.
Meh: I don't think I'd recognize you.
Tom: I would shout about staying out of the shadows. Tigger hides there, you know. He deals drugs to children.
Tom: Oh, you might.
Meh: I love Tigger.
Meh: I may, but...well, I don't know. I'd probably have ten million other things on my mind to realize it's you.
Tom: I once received a Winnie the Pooh card.
Meh: If I did, I'd be surprised and too shy to say anything. I'm weird like that.
Tom: It said "Winnie the Pooh wants you to fuck my brains out! DON'T MAKE POOH CRY."
Meh: O_o;
Tom: I got it last Valentine's Day.
Meh: I don't want a card with that on it...it's freaky.
Tom: I never found out who sent it.
Meh: I don't want it even if Richie sent it.
Tom: Besides, you'd be forced to say something. I'd have to make sure you were aware of the threat Tigger poses.
Meh: O_o; Tigger is harmless.
Tom: Not when he has his cheese-gun!
Tom: And his Vileplume bodyguards!
Meh: I have a bazooka.
Meh: And it goes BLAM BLAM BLAM.
Tom: Bazookas are for the WEAK.
Meh: Wait.
Meh: No.
Meh: That's a shot gun.
Tom: Bazookas do not go BLAM BLAM BLAM. They go BLAM, three minute reload, BLAM.
Tom: Guns are like animals.
Meh: FWUMP. I forget what makes that noise.
Tom: My gun kinda sounds like a cow.
Meh: O_o;
Meh: I have no guns, thankfully.
Meh: My dad had a BB gun. He shot a rat with it 'cause it was in our backyard and it was HUGE. Almost as big as our dog (our dog wasn't tiny, but she wasn't big, either).
Tom: I manufacture them for fun. I made a gatling gun entirely out of scrap material. Useful if pterodactyl-aliens ever show up or something.
Meh: Gats are guns man.
Tom: 'Cause, you know, they eat REAL guns.
Meh: I am defenseless against those alien things.
Tom: Just do what they did in Tremors 2: Spray yourself with a fire extinguisher.
Tom: The aliens see in infared, see. That's why they eat the guns and cars.
Meh: O_o; I'll keep that in mind.................
Tom: The heat from the engines/bullets attracts them.
Meh: What if they're nice and only want our cars and what not?
Meh: What if they don't want to hurt us?
Tom: They can't tell the difference.
Meh: Yes they can!
Meh: I said so, so they can!
Meh: Just like I have an automatically reloading shot gun! MEH.
Tom: See, they start as these creatures that live beneath the ground. They sense seismic activity and will eat anything that causes a vibration on the ground. That includes humans and cars.
Meh: I float. *nod*nod*
Tom: Then they turn into these bipedal, infared-sensing screeching thingies.
Tom: Then they grow wings.
Meh: Wow. I think me and these aliens would get along great.
Tom: By the way, an auto-reloading shotgun would probably tear one's shoulder off.
Meh: No, I set it on the ground with a bunch of bricks behind it, propped up by something...not sure what...
Tom: That would break the stock.
Meh: AND THESE BRICKS ARE NOT BREAKABLE.
Meh: NO. I said no.
Tom: You'd get arrested for possession of such a weapon.
Tom: They'd sentence you to death by firing squad. Then they'd use it on you.
Meh: Awesome.
Tom: See, Elvis was an alien, and instead of dying, he became the president.
Meh: O_o; I have Hitler in my closet.
Tom: They tried to cover this by saying he crashed a UFO into the loch ness monster.
Meh: Well, Hitler's still in my closet.
Tom: It's funny, though. They claim it was a weather balloon, but what balloon is hexagonal in shape?
Meh: My balloon.
Meh: Yes. Oh yes. It is such a hexagonal shape it makes your eyes BLEED.
Tom: This is JUST like what Lil' Spicy said in his famous "Eventually, someone will say something is JUST like this speech" speech.
Tom: Hexagonal shapes do not make my eyes bleed.
Tom: My house is hexagonal.
Meh: Oh, this hexagonal shape does.
Meh: It's THAT hexagonal.
Tom: Not as hexagonal as THIS. http://hephaestus.plastic-passion.net/art/house7.gif
Tom: Additionally, PAL-18, my IRC bot, is more hexagonal.
Tom: http://hephaestus.plastic-passion.net/art/palp.jpeg
Tom: He is also a PIMP.
Meh: O_o;
Meh: Creepy.
Tom: I have successfully convinced four people that it is now British law to keep frozen biscuits in one's cart.
Tom: Car.
Meh: O_o; Gullible people.
Tom: Naw, I'm just a good con man.
Meh: O_o;
Tom: Earlier today I convinced a bunch of maillers that I was a poor man whose tyrannical mother refuses to let him buy maille supplies.
Tom: So now I am being mailed several hundred dollars in supplies.
Meh: O_o
Tom: I also talked a webmaster into giving me a user/pass to a site that would have cost $60/month.
Meh: O_o;
Meh: I...uh...bleached my hair...............
Tom: *Listens to the screech-rap*
Tom: Some friends and I recorded ourselves screeching and we made a rap mix out of it.
Tom: It's off da heezy fo' sheezy.
Meh: I)il
Meh: Ach.
Meh: O_o;*
Tom: Don't you have a set quota of those?
Meh: I dun think so.
Tom: Sirose dances to my rap song.
Meh: That's kind of creepy.
Tom: Yes.
Tom: http://hephaestus.plastic-passion.net/music/screech.zip
Tom: *Laughs insanely*
Meh: Ee...no.
Meh: I'm not downloading anything.
Tom: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE SCREECH!
Tom: Why not?
Meh: I dun wanna. I don't want to turn into a scary dancing person to scary screeching rap remix ness.
Tom: Yeah, you KNOW you'd have to dance because it's so AWESOME.
Tom: You're depriving yourself!
Meh: Gooood.
Tom: It's not a remix, either. It's an original mix.
Meh: Meh.
Tom: Ya'll gotta know yo words! Ya'll can't just walk aroun talkin' bout "Yo, yo! Shiznat" Ya'll gotta know what ya'll talkin' bout!
Meh: ...........
Meh: I'll...uh...pass?
Tom: Ya'll just don't see. Ya'll ain't got da VISION.
Meh: No...
Tom: Hmmm.
Meh: Well, I was about to go to bed when you IMed me, so now I am going to do that because I'm nearly falling asleep here.
Tom: Oh, sure, leave without a warning. What if my house caught wire and I needed someone to call 911?
Tom: Thanks a lot, Kei. You're a real friend.
Tom: BYE.
Meh: O_o;
Meh: Get another friend?
Tom: I can do that?
Meh: -_-; Yes.
Meh: Now. Sleep time.
Tom: COOL.
Meh: For me.
Tom: Bye.
It was just too weird for me. Tom and I have this ODD history. Too long to explain, to say the least. Let's just say, he liked me, knew he couldn't have me (I was/am with Richie), so he told Richie I was cheating on him (Richie) with him (Tom). Meh. How untrue. So yeh. Now he just makes fun of our relationship because he's immature like that. Oh. And he thinks the pill (birth control) is invincible. Yes. You cannot get pregnant on the pill, which is why my aunt did and my uncle's ex girlfriend did (not his child, it happened when she was 16 or so). Haha. ANYWAY. If you want to read something even funnier (especially if there are any gamers/coders/hackers on here), I'll post it a bit later. :D I am off now!
Keikun
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3:56 am - wellllll meeeeeee!
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5:40 am - Hello!
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losteded
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This is Nikki, one half of the moderation of this community. If you'd like to find out more about me, my journals are here and here. (when it decides to actually work)
Here are a few links for fun stuff and distractions to help keep you happy and distracted from any depressing thoughts.
smile-a-day
ideas for distractions
remember your laugh
lj drama
weird ideas
care bears
Don't forget we're looking for more ideas and suggestions. I have more links to follow soon.
current mood:  busy
current music: I'll cover you ~ Rent
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ecstatic
