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My claim! [30 Nov 2004|01:55pm]

Hey there! I claim Master Chief of Halo, Celes of Final Fantasy VI, and Nina of Tekken
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[02 Jul 2004|02:55am]

I claim Claire Redfield and Steve Burnside from Resident Evil
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[26 Aug 2003|11:50pm]

WHAT UP PLAYAS! it's been a while but it mights be even longer after dis entry cuz imma bout to FUCK SHIT UP! but first things first...

Dear StubbyGrubbs,
Well, before I start off throwing my problems at you, i have to say...I have been reading everything youve written for...months now I guess. You are my fucking Idol, You fucking rock!...just so you know. is my problem I guess. Ive got a boyfriend thats pretty well known...I mean...he's famous...So yea, its a long story. I only talk to him on the computer, and my mom doesnt really believe its him. Im scared she'll try to like...fucking ban me from talking to him or some shit if I dont proove its him. I tryed to talk to him about it, but i think he's still kind of scared from the last relationship he was in, that im only with him because he's...famous...I dont know what to do, cause Im scared to bring it up again, cause I dont want to cause problems between him and I, but...If I dont, I might not be able to talk to him anymore...Any advice?
OH! by the way. You still fucking rock!

STUBBS: riiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhht. have you ever really met dis cat? i mean fo real? what do you do again? imma just wonderin because either A) you can really lay dat shit out an he'll keeps in contact wit you via e-mail or B) you ain't never met dis mufucka an he TELLS you he's famous an you wanna believe his shit or C) yous a FUCKED UP MUFUCKA! i'm not sure what to say but A) if he really is famous an you mets dat cat an he's fo real den don't wory about yo parentals, kid! if he's famous an really digs you (minus all dat road pussy he's catchin) den let him come up front when he's ready. B) if yous ain't never met dis mufucka den tell him to lose yo e-mail address. most celebritites gots impotant shits to do like get dey fuck on an ain't worried about internet slizuts. C) if yous fucked up get help, son! an i mean like psychotherapy or shock treatments an shit. you on a fast track to suckin cock for a cot to sleep on!

and YO! check dis shit out! dis might get me thrown off fo real (which would be phat-ass sweet) but i gots dis lovely e-mail da other day. CHECK IT!

From : (Blurty Abuse Team)

To :

Subject :
Violation of Blurty's Terms of Service

Date :
Fri, 22 Aug 2003 02:52:04 -0400

Reply Reply All Forward Delete Put in Folder...InboxSent MessagesDraftsTrash Can Printer Friendly Version

Dear Blurty User stubbygrubbs,

After an investigation, you were found to be involved in the harassment of other
users. As stated in Section XVI of the Terms of Service
(, you agree to not use the Service to
harass, abuse or otherwise threaten any person. Any further attempts at
harassment on your behalf will result in the suspension of any other accounts
you have created and a permament ban placed on your use of this service.

Blurty Abuse Team

STUBBS: first off, FUCK YOU! i ain't harrassed, abused or threatened nary a mufucka on dis sight! da only problems i can see is some mufuckas with no sense of humor dat find more joy out of claimin cocks an wishin dey was married to some skank lead singer of a band who wouldn't fuck them wit their roadies dicks. second off, what's da big fuckin deal in scrollin down a tad? you ain'ts never gots to see my shit, but you want to. you ALL want to. yall can'ts get enough of this shit, but yo bland lifestyles lead you to tattle an bitch cuz your social existence will never appear past da computer screen. an you know what? ban my shit! dat only makes me stronger, and by an "Abuse Team" no less, which is probly one lonely ass mufucka wit his pants around his ankles in his momma's basement (who i probly already got nut deep in) eatin tacos an typin threats to me on his sticky ass keyboard. get throat deep on dis shit, mufucka! and all you haters! but to those of yall dat dug the Stubbs, yall will never be without my shit. i loves all of yall. i can'ts be faded. DEY DON'T KNOW ME!

H O L L A !
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[21 Aug 2003|05:07pm]

And now boys and girls, it's time for the Sleepynap Storytime Hour with...Mr. Stubbygrubbs.

WHASSUP BITCHEZ? yo--check it. once upon a time an shit der wuz dis slizut dat i used to bounce on an one day i was over at anotha bitchez house gittin my fuck on an shit an she comes poundin on da door screamin "little bitch, little bitch, let me in" an i says "not whiles i gots my nuts on dis bitches chin!" an she's all like "well ifns ya don't i'll kick dat goddam door down". now i was a little concerned cause it was just a little single-wide trailer an shit but i still told dat bitch to "eat a PHAT dick, slut!" so da bitch starts gettin all live an kickin in da door an while she was poundin on dat mufucka me an homegirl split out da back an went to another bitches house dat i know. so whiles i was gettin my fuck on wit both of dem hoes dat skank comes poundin on door. "little bitch, little bitch, let me da fuck in!" an i says "not whiles i gots my nuts on dis bitches chin, ya goddamn anal burping pussy queef!" an she says "ifns ya don't imma gonna kick dat goddamn door down!" now dis was just a little apartment and even though it had a deadbolt the door was still pretty wak, son. so she starts kickin dat mufucka, an befo she could get through we crept outta da window an went to another hoe's house. now dis bitch was fly AND rich and her white ass lived up in dis phat mansion. so imma gettin my fuck on wit all three of dese honies when that beotch comes poundin on da door. "little bitch, little bitch, let me in, you MUFUCKA!" an i says "i done told yo shits and i ain't gonna tell yo ass again. not while imma slangin my nuts up against dis bitches chin." and shes like "ifn's yo don't imma gonna bust dat door down". an hearin dat the rich slut calls her dogs out an dey ate dat bitch up an den poopied her out all over da yard. the end an shit.

This has been the Sleepynap Storytime Hour with...Mr. Stubbygrubbs. Sweet dreams, dookie-pops.
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[16 Aug 2003|04:31pm]

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STUBBS: dat's right, bitchez! fo a few dollas i'll roll by yo crib and kick da fuck out yo ass, son! listen to some of dese testimonies.

poser_girl: I used to be obsessed with this rock band and was even convinced I was going to marry the lead singer! Boy, what a stupid, misguided bitch I was! That is until Mr. Stubbygrubbs stopped by and put his foot in my ass! Now that wack-ass hairdo is gone and I can laugh again! I owe you everything, Stubby!

STUBBS: don't mention it slizut. just makes sure i gets my money or da next one's on da house!

revitalized: I used to actually call myself "punk"! Need I say more? Stubbs dropped by and took care of that shit! Then he fucked my mom! You aallllllright, Mr. Stubbygrubbs!

STUBBS: you see? you too can see da world through different eyes for three easy payments of $19.95! whatcha waitin on? a life? not today, son! call now!

Not available in France. Just buy a hangun and end it.
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[16 Aug 2003|02:07am]

I gots some mad dookies, son! i hads a crazy jalapino burger from sonic an i thinks imma bout to blow, kid!

Dear Stubbygrubbs,
Why are you so hateful? Are you just a loser and have nothing better to do? WTF?

STUBBS: you know what pisses me off? people who say WTF LMAO LOL. i gots to take a shit. fuck all ya'll. those of yall dat use da preceding abreviations are gettin da dookie imma bout ta lay in der moufs!
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[13 Aug 2003|05:15pm]

And now boys and girls, it's time for Sleepynap Storytime Hour with...Mr. Stubbygrubbs.

Yo, so check dis shit out, bitchez, once upon a time my moms wanted me to take a coupla fowtys an a ham to gramma's house an shit an i was like "fuck dat ol' bitch, she's on welfare anyways. givin dat sorry ass mufucka my hams an shit". but she said dat if my nappy ass dids't do like she told me an shit dat she'd go peepee in my sweet midget jar when i wasn't lookin an shit an dat i'd never know when she do it an i'd be eatin uriny sweet midgets. how da fuck do yous like dat shit? sos imma like "aight, beotch" an i takes da brown paper sack an imma on my ways an shit.
well on da ways dey was dis drunk ass wolf reekin of nighttrain an gettin all up in my shit fo a coupla dollas sos he can get his drink on, an imma like "get yo dookie-bref da fuck offa me, playa" an he starts eyeballin my paper sack an he's like "damn, is dat st. ides?" an imma like "so what if it is, you goddamn hoodlum" an he's like "you know dat's shit's dope. man i'll suck yo dick if you let me have dat st. ides" an den i bitch-slapped dat stoopid-ass wolf an told him to da back da fuck up befo i smokes his shit. den he says "you goin to yo bitch-ass granny's, ain't ya?" an i slapped his shit again an said "i tolds you to back da fucks up!" an his scared ass went scurryin away an shit.
so finally i hits up to my gramma's pad an i knock on da door an i hear "come in an shit, AHEM--HACK, i means, come in sugah" an i walks in and imma like "yo wassup grammy. i broughts you a ham an some st. ides so you can get yo drinks on" an she's like " dat's so sweet of you Stubby, just sit dat shit on da table fo yo grammy". sos i sit da shit down an imma like "sos granny, what's up wit dose big-ass feet an shit?" an she's like "dose just my corns, baby" an imma like "damn gramma, what's up wit yo big-ass nose an shit?" an she's like "better to sniff up on yo ding dong, baby" an imma like "yo, dat's some sick ass shiznit, gram--wait, yo. what's up wit dose big ass ears an shit?" an she's like "better to hear dat phat ass demo you gots goin on" an imma like "yeah, dat shit's gonna be deck, yo--hold up. what's up wit yo big-ass yellow teeth an shit?" an she gits all live an strip off her robe an i see it's da wino wolf an he's like "better to eat yo black ass with" and imma like "what, son?" an i pulls my heater out an started smokin dat fool. "heard yo won a wet t-shirt contest, mufucka" i says while imma cuttin dat nigga in half wit my glock an shit. den afterwards i had a ham sammich and a fowty of st. ides. the end an shit.

And that was the Sleepynap Storytime Hour with...Mr. Stubbygrubbs. Sweet dreams, dookie-pops.
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[11 Aug 2003|02:06pm]

WHAT UP, BIZNITCHEZ! check it--imma gettin rids of my caddy an shit cuz ima thinkin bout gettin a benz SUV sos i can put a love mattress in da backs of dat mufucka sos i can get a squirley fuck on up in dat beotch! hopefullys if i can ever finish dis demo an start makin some loot i will be able to fuck in said vehicle. it could be awhile, tho. an dey might have found someone to operates on Booga an cut dat midget out of his ass an i told him he'd have to keep dat shit in a jar an i might want to take a picture of dat shit fo my first cd cover. dat shit would be dope.

Dear Stubbygrubbs,
I don't mind some of the shit you say sometimes but I was really offended when you started putting down AFI. I'm a big fan of theirs and they totally rock my socks.

STUBBS: you know, i've seen dat shit written somewhere else an i just wants all yalls to know that the phrase "rocks my socks" is da gayest shit i've heard since Blink 182. not only that, but that dude looks fuckin weird to me. like he was a man at one point an den he had his ding dong cut off an wanted to be woman an den said "whoops, i changed my mind an shit" an wents back to being a man an now he just looks all fucked up. like super-midget retard boy wit lots of hair.

Dear Mr. Stubbygrubbs,
I've read some past entries and you talk about Duane Brown a good bit. Who is Duane Brown.

STUBBS: yo, dat's a wak ass mufucka, G, i can't even talk about how wak dat punk is.

Dear Stubbygrubbs,
What's your favorite music?

STUBBS: music to my ears is the sweet sounds of some ballz slappin across some ass, the lushus sound of weed gettin pulled thru a bong, and the sweet sound of ballz slappin across some ass. i can't hear dat shit enough.

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[09 Aug 2003|11:15pm]

A Message From God.

God says you must love Mr. Stubbygrubbs. If you don't, you're going to hell.
God says that if you are graced to meet the biggest pimp He ever created you must stop what you're doing immediately and get your fuck on with him.
And you must smoke his ding dong.
God also says to buy Mr. Stubbygrubbs weed. Alot of it. Until you are broke and cannot afford anything else.
Weezer loves Mr. Stubbygrubbs. Why can't you?
God hates AFI. He really, really does.
God wants all of His children to be happy, and to stab as much ass as possible.

So please, don't go to hell. Love Mr. Stubbygrubbs. He loves you. And your bitch-ass momma.

Love, God.
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[07 Aug 2003|11:02am]

Rolling Stone calls him a genius! He's adored by millions all over the world! The pope wants to sniff up on his ding dong! His names Mr. Stubbygrubbs, and he could be coming to your town!

"Two fortys up! Way the fuck up!"--Ebert and Roper

"This is the dopest motherfucker that ever walked the earth! I haven't heard shit this dope since I heard Sid Vicious was dead!" ---Chicago Tribune

"I just want to sniff up on his ding dong."---The Pope

"hey I just filed a report on you to blurty for trolling communities. I've listed all the communities you're in."

damn. congratulations an shit. was dat before or after you gots yo ass beat on da playground by da third graders? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
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[06 Aug 2003|03:14pm]

man, dat mufucka dat fucked my bitch ass momma a coupla days ago showed his ass up at my hotel room sayin stupid shit like "MY BALLS NEED SOME SUCKIN! SUCK ON MY GODDAMN BALLS! SUCK IT, MUFUCKA, SUCK IT!" and bangin on my door an shit sos i called security up to my room an dey started clubbin dat mufucka in da hall an he was bleedin all over an shit an i went out in da hall an started goin "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" an i started kickin him too an shit.
after dat i wents to walleymart an was lookin at da golf balls cuz you knows imma pimp ass golfer an shit an i started gettin tailed by some dude in a blue vest wit a walkie-talkie sos i trailed over to da electronics department an got in front of one of dem camcorders an i pulled out my ding dong an started strokin dat beotch an all 28 TVs was broadcastin me yankin my ding dong. dat shit was deck, yo! sos he said i had to leave an before i left i saw dis flyass beotch at the register an iwas like "let's skate an go fuck in yo car" an she was like "aight" an i stole a slim jim an ate dat mufucka while we gots our fuck on in her pinto out in da parkin lot. dat slim jim was gooder den a mufucka. ]p

fowty-ounce sippin, straight vagina dippin', brothas in da corner hatin all da ass i'm clippin'.

an it looks like Booga gonna be up at da hospital a little while longer cuz dey can't get a doctor to look at his asshole midget for 3 seconds before dey start puking dey guts up rite dere an shit. much less touch dat purple mufucka. but it still funny to run up at dat ass an flick dat mufucka. hee hee.

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[04 Aug 2003|05:18pm]

YO! today Dre an dat mufucka Snoop Dogg came ups to da studio an Snoops like "yo flava is drizzle fo shizzle niggy" an imma like "wooooooord, mufucka?" an he's like "word, you k-nut lickin dookie sucka" an we rolled up a spliff an got hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhhh. den we chilled an laid some tracks an shit but i can'ts be rollin up wit dat shit rite now cuz dat shit be on da lowdown. In other words, I'm trying to maintain a certain level of secrecy because both parties may not approve of the release of said material. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! DAT'S RIGHT MUFUCKAS! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AN SHIT!

Mr. Stubbygrubbs,

Please help me. I am a girl who loves to fuck and wants nothing but to get laid. However, my problem is that I am shy and quiet, and I don't make a sluty impression. I know I'm not ugly, and plenty of people tell me I'm good-looking, but I usually never get picked up at a bar and I think that its because guys don't think I'll fuck 'em. I know there are plenty of horny mofos out there, and if only one tried to get freaky with me, he would get lucky, so what the fuck? Tell me what the problem is and what I should do.

STUBBS: NOW DAT'S WHAT I"M TALKIN BOUT! first offs, if yous dat forward wit yo convictions an attitude you gots to be dat way in person. but not like a silly slut or anything. be cool, forward an stay in da bar scene cuz you in the right ball park. say dat shit to a mufucka in a library an watch him cream himself an run the other way. when talkin to a dude you likes an want to git yo fuck on with, just ask dat cat what he's doin afterwards an invite him back to yo place to suck da balls offa him. but be careful who you taske back to yo crib. don't fuck him just cuz you can. dey may be some horny cats out der but der's some crazy mufuckas too. remember--QUALITY. you feel even better about fuckin him. but get to know him at least a couple of hours an shit befo you decide, then let him in on yo intentions. don't tell him yo wanna suck his ding dong an shit (even tho you will) but let him know you wanna spend some time an shit. and if all else fails give me a holla an i'll come over an put da fuck on ya real good an shit. [editor's note: Mr. Stubbygrubbs is an equal opportunity ass-stabber.]

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Hi [04 Aug 2003|01:52pm]

[ mood | amused ]

Hey I'm new and I'd like to claim Rinoa Heartilly from FF8

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[02 Aug 2003|05:20pm]

OH SHIT--CHECK IT! i wuz at da swap meets dis afternoon an i found one of dem dope ass mercedes benz chains, playa. dat was da swass shit back in da day and guaranteed mucho blow jobs, kid! dey wuz only twenty five dollas a piece an had like diamonds on em an shit sos i boughts two of em. imma doublin up on da love, G!
i wears em both at da same time an i look dope.
oh yeah, an peace out Bob Hope. everyone be sayin dat some sad shit but yo dat nigga live to be 100! most turtles don't live to be dat old an shit. he was still deck so peace out.
IMMA SO FUCKIN DECK, KID! an my balls are tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhht....
oh yeah, an my bitch ass momma wents back home finally. slizut was crampin my style an shit an eatin all my sweet midgets, so i wrapped my dingaling around her neck an choked her for seven minutes before i toed her ass out da door. peace, beotch. an dat dumb mufucka Booga still in da hospital an i haven't visited cuz imma too buzy gettin my fuck on. practice safe wipin, playa. practice safe wipin.

Dear Mr. Stubbygrubbs,

My dad lost his fuckin job. Now my parents can't find no work. I got a great job, a car, and I'm starting my senior year in the fall. Mom and Pop can't find jobs so they want to move out west and live like cheap white trash. I, however, don't wanna go. I'm turning 18 soon, but if I go against my dad he'll make my life a living hell. And it's not like I got a place of my own. What the hell am I gonna do? If I go and then come back in a few months to go to college I'll have to pay out of state tuition, how fucked up is that? I shouldn't be punished because my parents are dumb asses!

STUBBS: yous abouts to be 18 playa. you needs to make your own decision. livin out on your own is hard unless you know how to fuck real good an got somebody floatin yo shit. otherwise, you gots to get responsible. i say, if your serious about your schoolin an shit, find a friend who you REALLY get along with an get an apartment an get a hope skolarship or a grant. don't worry about yo pops. dey just pissed off because dey some unemployed mufuckas an dey have to move an shit. but it'll pass. he might even respect yo shit a little more cuz you takin care of bizness. the down side is you ain't gonna have much loot, so most've da fun shit you used to do is over. but dere's plenty of dope ass reasons to hacve your own crib. dat means dat da party's at yo place an everybody else be bringin da refreshments, you dig? nobody tells you what you GOT to do and you can get yo fuck on anytime of da day! HALLELUIA!

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[30 Jul 2003|11:06pm]


Dear Stubby,
What would you consider the ideal blowjob?

STUBBS: its about time one of you mufuckas axed a sensible question and i is da one to ask such an inquiry (dat's like axin OJ which knife is best used for cuttin up a bitch). first offs, are ya left-handed or right-handed? think about dat shit fo a second, cuz dat's da kung-fu grip you gonna use when you grab dat ding dong. once your on yo knees (like a good beotch) and gots a hold of his dingaling, rub it real nice, talks to it, strokes it up and down. looks up an smile at yo man like you can't wait to taste his ding dong. then lick it once around da head and slowly go down on it. aw yeah. jus like dat shit rite there. den don't forget to lick da balls befo you goes down on dat shit again. den get serious on dat mufucka. take it all da way down. up an down. up an down. then pull all da way up on it real slow until all of it comes out an den lick da bottom of his ding dong. den lick my balls..i mean, lick his balls. den goes back down.....uppds an down...oh shit hold on mufuckas....i'lls be back....

cool. i'm back. where were we...oh yeah. just put his dick in yo mouth an suck it. he won't complain. layta.

Dear Mr. Stubbygrubbs,
Who's your favorite football team?

STUBBS: man i don't watch dat shit. imma too buzy gettin' my fuck on! you wasted seven seconds of my fuck time readin dat bullshit.

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[29 Jul 2003|02:36pm]

Bull Street Mental Hospital
June 28, 2003
11:48 PM

This evening a Mr. Stubbygrubbs was found outside our hospital, shaking uncontrollably and sobbing fitfully. He was inconsolable. We brought him inside and attempted to calm him with 1mg of Lorazepam, but he still continued to shake and mutter the same phrase over and over: “Dey’s gonna kick my shit out....dey’s gonna kick my shit out...”
Clenched his hand we found the following message:

Sammy Samm (backwerds) wrote:okay yeah your getting banned from this community for not following the rules so dont be pissed when you can no longer post.



dat mufucka Booga's still swingin like a ceilin fan at da hospice all nice an cozy an shit wit his asshole midget an he still trys to git his groove thang shakin when some missy eliot breaks out on da TV. me an moms will laugh at his ass for hours an take turns flickin his hemroid an shit. dat shit's dope. oh yeah, an check it. me an dre's been puttin some touches an shit on da demo and dre's like "man, yo shit's so tight i wanna suck up on yo ding dong an shit" an imma like "man, shut da fuck--okay, just fo a minute"...

Dear Mr. Stubbygrubbs,
A friend and myself are having some disagreements. First, who composed "The Moldau" and secondly, during your first music theory practical, what chord progression are you most likely to demonstrate?

STUBBS: "The Moldau" wuz composed by dat mufucka Johann Smetana an i thoughts it was Liszt for da longest time until i stopped hittin da pipe an was able to read my cd cover an shit. an you most likely to have to do one a dem 1-5-4-1 chord progressions durin yo praktical an shit an make dat shit snappy too cuz most theory professeors make you sniff up on dey ding dong and lick da butta out dey asshole if ya moves too slow...
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[27 Jul 2003|02:10am]

YO! man, LA's a crazy mufucka, G! last night me an my mom's went to da clubs an der was dis mufucka walkin up an down da strip sayin crazy shit like "SUCK MY DICK MUFUCKA! HAHAHAHAHHAHAH! SUCK MY GODDAMN DICK! MY DICK NEEDS SOME SUCKIN'! SUCK IT, MUFUCKA, SUCK IT!" an dat shit was funny as hell. imma gonna find dat dude an record dat shit for my record an i's knows i'll see his shit again cuz my moms went home wit him to suck da balls offa him.

Dear Mr. Stubbygrubbs,
This guy says he doesnt want to get involved with me because he doesnt want to get attached cause he's leaving to go back to school.....but he goes on a date with some other girl that is totally stupid. What the fuck. His good friend said he likes me or what ever but then my sis asked him and he was all like "" what the fuck. And he flirts with me.....Guys and there stupid ass mixed signals.He's not a man whore so I don't think the sex thing is the big issue here. But he has a thing for asian girls so I think thats why he went on a date with her. What an asshole.

STUBBS: the sex thing IS da issue. you ain't lettin him stab dat ass so he's goin elsewhere for dat shit. how do you know he ain't a man whore? he told you dat shit? of course dat mufucka did. keep in mind dat cat's goin back to school and he's trying to nail all da quimm he can before he gets back, sos right now the only thing soundin' good to this mufucka is da sweet sound of some balls slappin across yo ass. apparently da other chick is willins to fuck, playa. an yous gots to know, yeah, he likes you. but he just wants to fuck right now. you'll prolly never see dis mufucka again. so my advice is stay away if yous da kind to get all crazy an shit cuz a mufucka leaves yo shit, or say "fuck it" an gits yo fuck on! put one on him hard an then don't call his ass an act like it was nothin an watch dat nigga be hollerin at yo shit left an right wantin some mo. HOTCHKA!
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[25 Jul 2003|04:16pm]

WHAT UP DOODAHS! check it--we hads to put dat mufucka Booga back in da hospital cuz his hemroid gots really swolen an started spittin out dookie juice an shit. dey gots him on one of dose support beam shits again an me an my moms started beatin dat mufucka wit sticks like he was a pinata an shit until we gots kicked out around three in da mornin. but not befo me an dis hot ass nurse gots our crazy fuck on inside da closet where dey keep dem bedpans an retard helmets. den me an moms went to waffle house an i gots me a mad omelet an shit. dat shit was dope!

sunday mornin was da mornin ya left me
but not before i got balls deep in yo kidneys.

oh shit--an last night i picked my moms up from bingo down at da bitchez club an we wons a month supply of pigs feet. dems gooder den a mufucka. i prefers da bizalls myself but its an akwired taste. like my ding dong.

Dear Mr. Stubbygrubbs,
I think I'm pregnant and I'm scared to tell the father if I am. How should I handle it?

STUBBS: get ready to watch a nigga freak da fuck out. its not an easy thing to tell a mufucka he's gonna be a daddy, specially when he's still in high school and in tenth grade for da third time. now his shit's really ruined. but relax. you gots to tell dat mufucka an let him own up to his resposisibilites (what da fuck?). and hold da fuck on cuz its gonna be a crazy ass ride filled wit dookie an peepee an spit up chunk bullshits an goddamn i don't even want to talk about dat shit no mo...
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[23 Jul 2003|09:22am]

I'M A CAT-STABBIN MUFUCKA, DAWGS! dat means i gets alots of triiiiiiiiiimmmmm...

I mET DRE TODAY, PLAYA! OH SHIT! dat kid walks up in da studio hittin a spliff an i'm like "what's up, playa, let me hit dat shit" an he passes da spliff an says "stubbs, you da dopest mufucka i've ever produced" an imma like "worrd?" an he's like "word you cat-stabbin mufucka" an imma like "WORD, DRE DOOKIE-POP TITTY FUCK?" an he's like "WORD, YOU DEF ASS DEEDLE PEE!" an den we jus got hiiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhh.
after dat shit me an Booga wents to da swap meet which sucks donkey kong k-nuts compareds to da one back home cuz dere boiled p-nuts smell like 23 day old pee-pee. but Booga thinks his hemroids comin back an shit so we might have to put his stanky ass and his asshole midget back in da hospital an shit. which is cool cuz i can gits rid of dat mufucka fo awhile an gits my fuck on. HOLLA!
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[21 Jul 2003|09:05pm]

And now boys and girls, it's time for...Mr. Stubbygrubbs.

i luve da way da fowty swishes
when imma fuckin fowty bitchez
i know my nuts taste so delicious
you know you wishes you were my bitchez...DAT'S RIGHT! K-NUT MUFUCKA! YEAH, SON! fo sho...

Dear Mr. Stubbygrubbs,
There's this older guy I hang around sometimes and I try really hard for him to like me and want to be my friend and all. The other day he asked me if I wanted to buy some weed and he said it was like sixty dollars for a quarter bag. So I gave hime the money and I haven't heard from him since. What does that mean?

STUBBS: it means yous a stoopid mufucka. never, EVER, give anybody yo green untils you see da GREEN, playa! not only dat, but SIXTY FUCKIN DOLLARS for a quarter? he's laughin at yo ass kid! and you may as well consider dat money a gift cuz you ain't never gonna see dat shit again. my advice to you, is to find dat nigga's car and flatten dem tires an shit. key dat mufucka too if you feelin brave. and fuck hangin wit dat mufucka. chances are when you get older you realize his stories of hittin beotches are bullshit an he'll still be at home wit his moms in ten years.

Mr. Stubbygrubbs,
Have you ever been with a guy?

STUBBS: only once in new orleans but dat bitch looked fllllyyyyyyyyyy....

Dear Stubby,
I picked up this ill rash from this chick I banged the other night. I think it could be crabs but I'm not sure. I'm kind of embarassed about it and don't know what to do. How should I handle it?

STUBBS: swallow dat pride an go find yo pops an show him yo ding dong. he'll tell ya. it's da only way. don't fuck around cuz dat shit's wak, pahtna. basically ifn's you gots little mufuckas jumpin around on your dingaling you got crabs. if it's just a scaley ass rash it's probly da clap. yo pops will know, or if he wuz a virgin when he married yo fat bitch slut momma maybe he'll be cool an take you to the doctor to get some cream an shit. an stop fuckin skanky bitches you stoopid sumbitch.

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