|
[Saturday
08/30/08 at 12:44pm] |
|
"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." - Walt Disney
|
|
|
[Saturday
08/30/08 at 3:46pm] |
|
i'm glad you got away.. but i'm still stuck out here
|
|
|
[Saturday
08/30/08 at 12:37am] |
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 10:38pm] |
short.
i hate working and i wish this childrens gym place would call me back for a job and james and them are such jerks and i wish i could work with people my own age for once.
my mom wonders why i'm never home and always with connor, but it's cuz lately even though we've been having some problems, it's better than dad.
i want to marry connor but i don't think he feels the same at all.
i don't know how senior year is going to pan out, but i hope it's not as bad as last year friend-wise.
i'm nervous as hell about everything.
|
|
|
[Saturday
08/30/08 at 3:22am] |
|
lonely.
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 8:22pm] |
" i?m learning to let go, to forgive, to not hold grudges.
to trust, to hope, and to believe in the impossible.
take a chance, attempt a risk, speak my mind. never
take life for granted, tomorrow may never
come. make the most of what you have and fight for
your dreams."
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 7:35pm] |
Seriously, it is so hard to build anything with Racquel. She is so standoffish it comes off as offensive. I've tried several times tonight to strike up a conversation and she just walks into the other room. I mean she responds but with about 2 words and I can barely hear her because she doesn't even stop to give me the time of day to answer me. It's so frustrating.
I signed up to Rush today. I filled out the entire form and for my confirmation e-mail. Hopefully this is a step in the right direction? It's just that... I watched high school go by without taking part in it. By graduation the only person I would consider a close friend was Ashly. Sure, I had my lunch table crew (and I loved them, they were amazing) but we never hung out outside of school. I was always hanging out with people on the outskirts. I loved everything I had outside of school.
I thought college would be my chance to love my school. But I went to RMC and transferred. There is so much I don't regret about going to RMC. I love my friends there. I can't imagine my life without Ashley, Patty, and the guys in it, but sometimes I feel like I missed out on so much by missing freshman year here at Towson. How do you make friends once you're out of the dorm situation?
So here I am... going into college as an upperclassman. Dans friends have become my friends and they are some of the most important people in my life but I'm ready to branch out. I'm ready to meet people on my own. I'm ready to surround myself with nice girls. Girls I want to be friends with. Girls like my girlfriends who I had here but went away to college. I have an amazing group of friends, I do. But I can't force myself to be friends with some of the girls that come around just to make girlfriends. It's exhausting and at the end of the day it doesn't make me happy. So here I go... on my own :)
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 9:48pm] |
|
I need you like water in my lungs
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 9:38pm] |
|
it's my birthday tomorrow
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 3:38pm] |
|
I love you. There's no way I could deny that. You make me want to be a better person, you make me want to aim higher, to try harder. But I'm starting to realize that I'll never be good enough for you. No one and nothing will. You're such a beautiful, pure boy. And I love that about you. I want you to have better than me. You deserve better than me. "amor vincit omnia". That's what our rings promised, isn't it? I'm starting to believe that maybe this is one circumstance that love just can't overcome.
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 10:25am] |
I woke up early today to get things done. Cut my grass, pull weeds.. take some care of my yard in general. But its rainy and depressing outside and I really don't think theres much I can do in this weather. I climbed out of Dans bed anyway and drove home. My mind was just too busy racing. It's as if when my eyes opened at 10am for the first time in a month I started thinking about all the things ahead of me. In the past week I've had more responsibility put on me than I was prepared to handle. I had intended to rush but more and more I'm wondering if I'd even have time. I desperately want to meet new people and who knows if rushing is what I even want in the first place? but it's the only way I know how to branch out at this point.
I've got a lot on my plate: Cross Country, Petco, Invisible Children Club, Class, taking care of my house... it may only sound like a handful, but I play a large role in each of those things. And recently its as if everyone is pulling me aside to let me know that my responsibilities are going to grow even more. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready. It's not that I don't think I can handle all the work I have ahead of me, I'm just nervous. I'm pretty sure thats completely normal. But it's just hard making time for everything. I mean I already have Invisible Children crossing in front of Fridays practice or Petcos day of work so I'm going to have to request off with both.
On a side note, there are also so many things to look forward to that will allow me to unwind. Football season is going to be such a blessing. It keeps my Sundays normal. Aside from that I'll have my fall television shows to look forward too, and I just got a new book to read. I keep looking at the campus activities board for things to do... ways to meet people etc. Mike moved into his dorm last night and I really want to get up and see what its like. I'm sure he's been crazy busy running around. Moving in is always so exciting.
I have Jimmy Buffett tomorrow with Bobby and Lauren! I think it should be a good time. I shouldn't be worried about it but for some reason I am. Is that weird? I just hope the weather holds out. I really don't want another rainy Buffett concert. I want it to be warm and summery and drunk. I want to take lots of pictures as well. I hope maybe this year can make up for last year?
Maybe now that I've realized I completely confused labor day with tomorrow, I can have a labor day cookout? I mean I know Racquel had already been thinking about it. I wouldn't want it to be anything too out of hand but I do have all those frozen hot dogs and hamburgers to get rid of. Someone needs to eat them!
I think I'm going to get off the computer now. Maybe shower, clean, and head up to Linens N Things and Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm sure they'll both be swarming with freshmen and their parents but oh well, I want to use my gift certificates and I'm sure theres lots of fun college stuff out right now.
♥
|
|
| Do not fix your burning eyes on me when you speak about love. |
[Friday
08/29/08 at 4:12am] |
i am so drunk in vegas don't kow wjerw i am hopw this maks sense. prob ot ilost my phone i want to txt people but i can't. i am so wastedd yhere are perople here but i do not know them i don't think i am in las vegas i think i am in henderson sorry so so so so drunk it is crazy i want to smke weed but there s none it is sad i mis patrick i told him i really liked him bu t i respected his marriage and then lost phone so so so stupif i suck i need my phone 'm going to freak but too drunk to do so now love you a t juust needd rto qritew sorry beligeret
xoxoxox
a\se;ppie
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 5:03am] |
|
yay lilo & stitch at 5am. this really is getting out of control. i need to find a way to get some sleep at night.
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 12:27am] |
|
I hate this fucking town. And all my best friends will be the death of me, but they won't ever remember, remember. So please take me far away before I melt into the ground and all my words get used against me.
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 12:24am] |
|
I'll stay if you want, but I could never be who you imagined me to be. I'll stay. I don't know what else to do. But I can't change for you. I won't change for you.
|
|
|
[Friday
08/29/08 at 12:13am] |
|
You are so far gone. I'm not pretending that you're all I want.
|
|
|
[Thursday
08/28/08 at 11:31pm] |
|
You've lost the war, and he's not coming back for you.
|
|
|
[Thursday
08/28/08 at 9:37pm] |
I'm becoming more and more addicted to destructive habits. And I keep telling myself that I'll change.... Truth be told, I don't really want to. I've always been told that I have an addictive personality.
There is no such thing as moderation with me.
And i think that's what really bothers me. I'll never comprimise. It'll always be all or nothing.
I never really realized how selfish I am.
|
|
|
[Thursday
08/28/08 at 5:18pm] |
|
Are you desperate for an answer? I don't have an ounce of good left in me now. That's why I walked out.
|
|