EMOLEERICKS' Blurty Day [entries|friends|calendar]
EMOLEERICKS

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[16 Jul 2008|12:00am]
Only an outsider can see a world's wonders for what they truly are.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:01am]
What I want is to be needed.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:06am]





and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:09am]
jas;ldkfajsd
ALL TIME LOW OPENED WITH HOLLY WOULD YOU TURN ME ON. THE ONE NIGHT I DECIDE NOT TO GO TO THE SHOW AND GO OUT HIKING INSTEAD.



...I am a dumbass. Hahaha.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:13am]
lol ohai i'm drunk D:
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[16 Jul 2008|12:15am]
So this is the end.
And the world is ours.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:17am]
we go out in stormy weather
we rarely practice discern
we make love to some weird sin
we seek out the taciturn

that's the way we get by

we found a new kind of dance in a magazine
tried it out it's like nothing you ever seen
you sweet talk like a cop and you know it
you bought a new bag of pot, said let's make a new start

and that's the way to my heart
that's the way we get by

we get high in back seats of cars
we put faith in our concerns
fall in love to down on the street
we believe in the sum of ourselves

i said that's the way we get by
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[16 Jul 2008|12:18am]
And winter came to hide the sun behind the gray
And erase her.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:20am]

When you try your best but you don't succeed,
when you get what you want but not what you need.
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep,
stuck in reverse.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:22am]
If you need to crash, then crash and burn;
You're not alone.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:23am]
like the battles with yourself
that leave you insecure
its all just a known charade
till the day you finally wake up
and you're not afraid


oh and sorry for posting something twice, i get antsy and click "update journal" too many times
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[16 Jul 2008|12:24am]
Believe, believe in me, believe, believe
In the resolute urgency of NOW
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[16 Jul 2008|12:31am]
Late night drives, all alone in my car
I can't help but start
Singing lines from all our favorite songs
And melodies in the air
Singin' life just ain't fair
Sometimes I still just can't believe you're gone
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[16 Jul 2008|12:31am]
I'm just so tired
Won't you sing me to sleep
And fly through my dreams
So I can hitch a ride with you tonight
And get away from this place
Have a new name and face
I just ain't the same without you in my life


ahhhhh a huge effing moth just flew in front of the computer so i freaked and my instinct was to hit it so it got squished all over my screen and then i had to go and clean it off and ew idefk : (
/end
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[16 Jul 2008|12:35am]

a picture's worth a thousand words, but not worth the words i need to hear
i miss you so much that it hurts, and tonight i wish you were here with me
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[16 Jul 2008|12:39am]









i wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison...
your poison running through my veins
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[16 Jul 2008|12:40am]
and what did i do, that you can't seem to want me? and why do we lie here, and whisper goodbyes? and where can i go, that your pictures won't haunt me? what makes it so easy for you to be walking by?
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[16 Jul 2008|12:43am]
It scares me to think that you could find takers
other than me and better than me.
But your head is elsewhere,

and I'm talking enough for both of us
when will you see it's not so easy for me?
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[16 Jul 2008|12:46am]
You're so cute when you're slurring your speech,
But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:49am]


change is never easy.
you fight to hold on,
you fight to let go.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:50am]
Could this be out of line?
[could this be out of line?]
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously
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[16 Jul 2008|12:53am]
You warm my blood when the temperature dies
You're my crutch when it's all too hard to bare
See without you here I could not be anywhere
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[16 Jul 2008|12:57am]
I love him for his intelligence, his sensitivity, his courage. I love him wholly and unconditionally without reservation. I love him enough to take risks. I love him enough to sacrifice a friendship. I love him enough to accept my own happiness and use it, in turn, to make him happy back.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:58am]


It's different when you're lonely.
The whole world's in love,
holding hands between bar stools.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:00am]
but here we are together and that's all that matters in the end
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[16 Jul 2008|01:03am]
If you're really just friends why wouldn't you chose me over them.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:04am]
This is the first day of my life
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you
But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy
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[16 Jul 2008|01:06am]
i love coronas with lime idk
what are your drinks of choice, EL?
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[16 Jul 2008|01:07am]
But he didn't get it I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy. Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills. Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up. I got to fold cause these hands are too shaky to hold. Hunger hurts, but starving hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills. Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:10am]

These nights I get high just from breathing.
When I lie here with you I'm sure that I'm real,
like that firework over the freeway.
I could stay here all day but that's not how you fee
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[16 Jul 2008|01:11am]
Believe me that your standing on the edge of something good,
and its the hardest thing you ever had to do.
Truth be told your begging on your knees
singing please dont let it, please dont let it be.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:13am]

can't pull myself out of the bed. it's 12 o'clock inside my head.
the people outside feel so far away.
i have a headache in my chest from all the chaos that you left
caffeine and aspirin take me away.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:18am]


i always said that i would make mistakes,
i'm only human, and that's my saving grace.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:20am]
Thanks for the best time of my life.
Come home, now that you're gone.
I finally realized that you were the best.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:24am]
I can do whatever I want like you.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:25am]
And too bad you knew me, when I wasn't ready.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:26am]
Monster, how should I feel.
Creatures lie here looking through the window.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:33am]
If I never surface, it doesn't matter
Hold my breath it's silent, silent
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[16 Jul 2008|01:34am]
lol my friend turned 21 tonight and it was hilarious tbqh. but idk sometimes i feel using a fake will make my 21 less special
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[16 Jul 2008|01:35am]
I wanna scream, wanna scream your name.
Starlight my life can save, you're my wish tonight.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:35am]
Well sooner or later this cold, it's going to break, so our hands will be warm again. But all I want is not to need you now. And sooner or later this code, it's gonna break so our words will be heard again. But all I want are vows of silence now.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:43am]
idk but i am going to get a ~backrub that will hopefully turn into more
ok i know tmi but idk goodnight to anyone who is still here and ily all
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[16 Jul 2008|01:44am]
Say anything, but say what you mean.
Cause I'm caught in suspension.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:47am]
I've got your picture in my wallet,
and you're phone number to call it.
And I miss you more, whenever I think about you.
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[16 Jul 2008|02:03am]
my friend tried to hook me up with this dude ya know and we talked on AIM for 5 minutes and i have already started a fight ab anarchism.
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[16 Jul 2008|02:26am]


uhmm, i don't think so
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[16 Jul 2008|08:27am]


i don't like you anymore, i tell you. and you say, i wish you did. i ask why, and this time you have an answer. you tell me, whether or not you like me, i still like you back. i really like you back. i say, you're an asshole. and you say, yeah, but i'll be your asshole, if you'll have me.
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[16 Jul 2008|08:31am]

second chances wont leave us alone
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[16 Jul 2008|08:32am]












please don't face the headlights of the oncoming cars alone
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[16 Jul 2008|08:36am]

and if you count me at all,
please don't tell me i'm ordinary
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[16 Jul 2008|11:08am]
baby, i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you.
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[16 Jul 2008|11:08am]

I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world

I'd go the whole wide world
Find out where they hide her
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[16 Jul 2008|11:12am]
lala
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[16 Jul 2008|11:31am]
i am a bad person but i'm really excited to go out with my granny in a few hours because she always gives me money and i am rly broke :(
AND I ENJOY HER COMPANY TOO, ALRIGHT
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[16 Jul 2008|11:41am]
the memories are bittersweet
the taste it leaves is still stuck in my mouth
wanna touch you; wanna breathe you
say "fuck you; i dont need you
get out right now"
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[16 Jul 2008|12:09pm]
So why do you fill my sorrow with the words you've borrowed. From the only place you've known and why do you sing Hallelujah if it means nothing to you. Why do you sing with me at all?
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[16 Jul 2008|12:36pm]
ahh my friend called me to tell me her ap scores are in and so i ran to the mailbox but then i remembered that my mail doesnt come for like 2 more hours
and i rly want to know mine sooo badly even though they dont count for anything and i want to know!!!!!!! cause like i dunno how did and :( :(
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[16 Jul 2008|12:46pm]
someone in my apt building is playing weezer.
and idk i am v pleasantly surprised ok
bc usually they play rly crappy music.

/ sharing
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[16 Jul 2008|12:56pm]
FY YOU EL
You distract me from what I should be doing
Noah is now covered in ketchup bc I was on here instead of ~supervising him eating lunch
and the cat was in the playpen with the baby lmfao
aaand my laundry is still not folded which is what I came in here to do
aaand the dog was not let out which I was also going to do before I had to get the baby again
FY EL, FY!

jk i love you all and you make my days less boring and crappy. ty.
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[16 Jul 2008|12:57pm]
gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn,
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[16 Jul 2008|12:59pm]
i watched you change with the seasons.
i wrote you letters but i forgot to mention that
i'm a wreck, i'm a mess,
you're a stranger.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:01pm]
i h8 cheap razors :[
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[16 Jul 2008|01:05pm]
i lost everything to one boy who said he was mine, he said he'd hold me forever.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:09pm]
lmfao idk maybe it was the ketchup story but i am now starving.
i am grabbing food & will return momentarily ok
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[16 Jul 2008|01:10pm]
i once had a grip on everything, it feels better to let go.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:19pm]
the radio collides to the sound of our heartbeats.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:34pm]


we watch these days go by. the seasons changed and faded away and the things i've learned to love, grow old and die.
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[16 Jul 2008|01:37pm]



I GOT ALL FIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


sorry that is rude and braggy but i'm so excited!!!!
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[16 Jul 2008|01:50pm]
i keep talking because i just need you to know, my motives were always to let you go.
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[16 Jul 2008|02:07pm]
lol my mom is watching harry potter at the moment and keeps calling me (shes in indiana) every two seconds like, "who is that chinese kid? how did cedric die? oh mistletoe, are they going to kiss? is that his first kiss? he ends up with gingy in the end- did you know that?" and i'm like.. okay lmfao and then she calls back, "oh the teacher has a big butt" and hangs up

so weird.
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[16 Jul 2008|02:11pm]
does anyone know how to use curlers?
I tried google but i'd rather have someone i can ask questions to.
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[16 Jul 2008|02:26pm]
anyone have a stickam account?
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[16 Jul 2008|02:34pm]
A subdued silence undisturbed by the sound of her breath. So carefully, brush her hair back from her eyes. In steady sequence, one by one, she slips away.
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[16 Jul 2008|02:34pm]
sincerely yours, never again.
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[16 Jul 2008|02:35pm]
how did it feel to trade my trust for a touch, and your soul for a quick fuck?
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[16 Jul 2008|02:37pm]
It's not too late for giving up and letting go.
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[16 Jul 2008|02:42pm]
salmon fest concert is on saturday!
i can't waaait
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[16 Jul 2008|02:46pm]
do you really feel alive without me?
if so be free
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[16 Jul 2008|02:53pm]
i tell my love to wreck it all
cut out all the ropes and let me fall
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[16 Jul 2008|02:57pm]
just make it go away
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[16 Jul 2008|03:20pm]















well i sleep with you but you dream of him
and pretend every touch of my hand is his
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[16 Jul 2008|03:22pm]

we'll both fake it, pretend we'll make it.
make it as we have with a past lover
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[16 Jul 2008|03:38pm]
i never felt more like dying than when you left.
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help [16 Jul 2008|03:42pm]
my ipod froze
& i tried switching the "hold" button on and off and resetting it but it won't work
suggestions?
=\
4 comments|post comment

[16 Jul 2008|04:00pm]
tell me, tell me, why the sun is shining out here in jersey when you are no where near.
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[16 Jul 2008|04:27pm]
oh my god, there must be something,
something to take the pain away.

and so there's nothing you can give me,
it's probably better off that way.
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[16 Jul 2008|04:30pm]
there's an ocean out my window, there's beauty in it's tears.
there's an ocean out my window,

it's crashing in my ears.
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[16 Jul 2008|04:32pm]
he took a bite; he spit me out.
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[16 Jul 2008|04:34pm]
I swear I'll know your face in the crowd.
And I'll hear your voice so loud,
when you're whispering.
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[16 Jul 2008|04:36pm]
I never stopped believing in you and me,
your leaving never changed things.
I've been here for too long, to just walk away.
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[16 Jul 2008|05:16pm]
I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
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[16 Jul 2008|05:16pm]
so breathe in so deep
breathe me in
'm yours to keep
and hold onto your words
'cause talk is cheap
and remember me tonight
when you're asleep
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[16 Jul 2008|05:19pm]
If you ever want some trouble
But can't afford the alcohol
I'll be here, I'll be here waiting
I'll be here, waiting for you
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[16 Jul 2008|05:21pm]
"
Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up."
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[16 Jul 2008|05:23pm]


i wish i could rip out a page of my memory,
'cause i put to much energy in him and me.
can't wait until i get through this phase cause it's killing me.
too bad we can't re-write our own history.
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[16 Jul 2008|05:24pm]
"The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
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[16 Jul 2008|05:26pm]
We are all in the gutter,
but some of us are looking at the stars.
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[16 Jul 2008|05:27pm]


i can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh. i can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry.
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[16 Jul 2008|05:46pm]
you don't have to call me
and say you're sorry
i'm already gone
you don't have to call me
and break my heart each time i try moving on
oh, you don't have to call anymore

you don't have to call, baby
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[16 Jul 2008|05:55pm]
it's true that we're young but love is said to be ageless. the same is said of pain and desire and depression. would it make it easier if i made you hate me? i only wanna see you happy. i only wanna see you smile.
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[16 Jul 2008|05:55pm]
it takes two to tango , babyy
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[16 Jul 2008|06:08pm]
lol i am at my best friends house rn and nobody is home except for me
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[16 Jul 2008|06:19pm]
color the coast with your smile,
it's the most genuine thing i've ever seen.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:20pm]


I'm so tired of dancing around these big words. I just want to be honest with you. But do you think we're ready for that honesty? Because honesty is a big word and it changes things, and it complicates things. Are you sure you're ready for everything that goes along with telling the truth?
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[16 Jul 2008|06:21pm]


you're all i ever want to know,
and i'm not going to let that go.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:23pm]


and if the sun will set tonight, hold our secrets up to the sky,
as our shadows grow there's nothing left to hide.
and if you ever doubt, you will know that
i still wonder how many times that i've compared the stars to your eyes.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:28pm]
one too many drinks tonight and i miss you like you were mine.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:29pm]



he's taken and leaving but i keep believing
that he's gonna come round soon.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:30pm]


oh, it looks like rain tonight and thank God
because a clear sky just wouldn't feel right.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:32pm]










because i chase everything when you play throw and i play catch.
it never took much to keep me satisfied.
but all the bullshit you feed me, you miss me, you need me.
this hungry heart will not subside.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:33pm]














well i may seem naive if i cry as you leave,
like i'm just one more tortured heart.
these cracks that i show as i'm watching you go, aren't tearing me apart.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:36pm]
at the end of the day
when my head hits the pillow
it's still your face i see,
it's still your face
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[16 Jul 2008|06:38pm]
and even though the letting go can be the hardest part i think it's time you start
living like you're loved again, i don't care where you've been, i wish you'd let me in and show me how to get you back to good.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:42pm]










and i cannot remember
what life was like through photographs
trying to recreate images life gives us from our past
and sometimes it´s a sad song.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:45pm]
gather up your memories, hold on to what you know. and everything's been moving way too fast, you thought you found something that would last, and it passed. so if you find that in your mind, you're putting up your guard, trust me when i say it's not supposed to be this hard. you'll fall agan, and it'll feel so fast, and every single fear you thought would last, it'll pass.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:46pm]






"I am someone easy to leave,
even easier to forget"
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[16 Jul 2008|06:47pm]
but i cannot forget, refuse to regret, so glad i met you. take my breath away, make everyday worth all of the pain that i've gone through.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:48pm]
even when i'm not giving enough
and i'm taking too much,
you're still there for me.
and when i've got nothing at all,
and i'm ready to fall,
you're still there for me
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[16 Jul 2008|06:50pm]

and mama i've been crying beause things ain't how they used to be.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:53pm]
can you fix my h-e-a-r-t?
cause it's d-a-m-a-g-e-d
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[16 Jul 2008|06:53pm]
i think of her, take a breath. feel the beat in the rhythm of my steps and sometimes its a sad song.
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[16 Jul 2008|06:54pm]
he's got my back even when it's against a wall
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[16 Jul 2008|06:54pm]
"Do you want to run away together?"
I would say it was your best line ever
Too bad I fell for it


And I walked alone
Waiting for you to come along
Take my tortured heart by the hand
And write me off



Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?

Do you know I cry?

And it's not the good kind

You forced me to become strong
When I just craved being weak


And you think you know
And I would like to think so

But do you know that when you go
I fall apart
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[16 Jul 2008|06:58pm]
omg i'm going to look ridiculous for the ~rave. hot pink spandex tights, matching tank top and a neon green dress/shirt over it with a cut out back and big pink hoops. i also bought hot pink/green eyeliner
2 comments|post comment

[16 Jul 2008|06:59pm]
one day you get what you want
but it's not what you think
then you get what you need
1 comment|post comment

[16 Jul 2008|07:00pm]
so there's this boy ,
he kinda takes my breath away
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[16 Jul 2008|07:02pm]
Pretend it's not forever,
I'll pull myself together
I'll say that I'll forget her,

I'll breathe.

And I'll say she never hurt me,

And look at it as learning,

And laugh about the good and the bad.
Because I won't live forever
We don't belong together,

I know I'll feel better,

One day when I can make it through.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:05pm]
Umm I was wondering if you guys could harass this asshole for me??
He's a disrespectful fuckhead and he has a small penis.

John Grieves
msn: john_grieve_05@hotmail.com
phone: 613-453-1642

I would love you forever.....thankssss.
8 comments|post comment

[16 Jul 2008|07:06pm]
I'm worried about work in the morning, will they send me home?

I want the antibiotics to start working already, this is insane
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[16 Jul 2008|07:16pm]
now i'm the one that's stuck inside the silver cage, the bird that can't fly away. clip it's wings if it sings of the way, the way the way that it hurt
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[16 Jul 2008|07:18pm]
there's nothing left to talk about, you know our love's not unconditional.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:23pm]

So bottle up old love, and throw it out to sea
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[16 Jul 2008|07:25pm]




i'll write you letter after letter when i'm gone,
to tell you that I made it, or that i cannot take this.
call this summer just a night that went too long.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:27pm]

Your eyes are holding up the sky

Your eyes make me weak, I don't know why

Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth
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[16 Jul 2008|07:27pm]
so much reminds me of you and i miss your smile.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:29pm]

Every single thing you say makes me want to run away
Sometimes love's a rainy day but life goes on
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[16 Jul 2008|07:30pm]
in your eyes,
I am complete
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[16 Jul 2008|07:31pm]
Don't let me live with what i've taken from your eyes
keep them away from me, keep them away from me.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:32pm]
the streetlights fading, the pavement slick from the summer pour. car soaked in silence, the night creeps in while my heart beats sore.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:33pm]
In your eyes,
I still fall

I shouldn't have let you go
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[16 Jul 2008|07:35pm]
and i will breathe for love tomorrow, because there's no hope for today.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:36pm]
there's nothing new that I could say
to tell you why I couldn't stay

and why I wonder all my life
to find the one that got away
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[16 Jul 2008|07:36pm]


your lovely face, your lovely touch,
i can't find a bone of love in you.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:37pm]
You're the sunlight that never comes
You're the reason I don't believe
You're the reason I'm always on the run
away from everything and everyone
you're the reason I lie awake
a same recurring dream
a fever that wouldn't break
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[16 Jul 2008|07:38pm]

It's too late to say you're sorry
You've been gone from here too long

I hope you found what you were missing
Cause I don't miss you here at all


And it's too bad that I'm not crying for you baby,

I'm saving my breath
I'm saving my tears

I'm saving my life for something
Better than these years
I've lost too much time
Crying over you
Don't look so surprised that I've
Got better things to do

Who's crying now?


There's so many nights I wasted
I was waiting for your call

Did you think I'd wait forever?
I guess you don't know me at all


And I told you if you left you would regret it
Thinking I would take you back, but you don't get it

There's something you should know

I finally let you go

It had to end somehow

Tell me who's crying now?
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[16 Jul 2008|07:39pm]
forgive sounds good
forget- i'm not sure i could.
they say time heals everything,

but i'm still waiting
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[16 Jul 2008|07:40pm]

i didn't mean to break ya,
b-b-b-b-break it, baby.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:40pm]

all i have is a heart that’s trained to
calculate my losses in the end.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:41pm]

sipping whiskey out the bottle,
not thinkin' bout tomorrow,
singing sweet home alabama all summer long.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:41pm]
sometimes you have to hurt to feel okay.
sometimes you have to run to make your problems go away
no one really taught me what i really need to know
like how to love someone then let them go
let them go, let them go,

how can you really love someone then let them go?
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[16 Jul 2008|07:41pm]

the look on your face could light up the room, but instead you left.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:43pm]
i bleed it out
take it deeper
just to throw it away
4 comments|post comment

[16 Jul 2008|07:43pm]
i've got a flask inside my pocket
we can share it on the train,
and if you promise to stay conscious
i will try and do the same.
we might die from medication
but we sure killed all the pain,
and what was normal in the evening
by the morning seems insane
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[16 Jul 2008|07:47pm]

and i hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say. and i'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out,

you'd stay the hell
out of my way
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[16 Jul 2008|07:47pm]
there's a million reasons why i don't want us to be just real good friends. because real good friends share stories of lovers and one night stands. and right now, i can't take being another shoulder to cry on.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:49pm]

Lying in the grass alone and wasted

Nothings how it used to be
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[16 Jul 2008|07:49pm]
and i can't seem to bear
that you don't really care,
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[16 Jul 2008|07:49pm]
What's the point in telling everybody
I'm not over you.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:51pm]
I'm out of things to say and I can't
change you anyway
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[16 Jul 2008|07:52pm]








I didn't ask you for the sky.
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[16 Jul 2008|07:52pm]
walking away again. seems like i know the back of your head better than the front. but hey, you dont see me stopping you, not a word out of my mouth this time. just walk away, you dont see me stopping you, cause i've got better things to do today