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[15 Oct 2006|12:55am] |
don't know why i miss him so much lately. don't know why i've been thinking about him. but i do know, i won't pick up the phone to talk to him about it. not now. i will never let him know that he is on my mind nearly everyday....almost 2 years later. why? because it's just pathetic. and he loves her. will probably marry her. and he will always be my "one that got away."
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[15 Oct 2006|01:19am] |
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how do you post pictures? i have a photbucket account and a picture ready with a secret, but i don't know how to get it on here?
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[15 Oct 2006|01:37am] |
i'm sure this has been heard before but,
i hate how anorexic people have their own journals on blurty.
what the shit?
i went to read some of the posts and was honestly disgusted. what the fuck is so cool about
"omg i ate half a cracker and drank 35mL of water today!? still need to starve some more though:)"
NOTHING.
it's literally nauseating, and as inconsiderate as this is of me, oh well. it does make me sad,
but please, just eat!
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[15 Oct 2006|10:55am] |
i wish i knew how to feel.
i have no idea where i stand with you.
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[15 Oct 2006|12:25pm] |
For the past eleven months of my life I have devoted most of my time to one boy. It's over now, and I feel lost. Who will I call at 3:15 in the morning after I just had a nightmare? Am I supposed to pretend like we never dated and just not pay attention to you in the halls? It'll be so weird walking to classes without you next to me.
Fuck.
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[15 Oct 2006|12:28pm] |
i told your boyfriend what you did.
and i don't feel bad
=]
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[15 Oct 2006|02:11pm] |
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i know it's you
i'm so sorry
it would have been better to just be yourself
can we do it that way from now on?
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| Yikes |
[15 Oct 2006|03:03pm] |
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[15 Oct 2006|05:15pm] |
I get so worked up over things sometimes, I make myself sick. Literally. No one knows this. The only time anyone has ever seen me sick was my mother. She didn't say anything about it or even seem phased. I think because I get this from her and she simply knew what I was doing.
(Just so you know) I'm not looking for pity just getting this off my chest and wishing I wouldn't worry or get so stressed out. Also this has nothing to do with bulimia/anorexia......just a bad way of me relieving my stress occasionally.
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[15 Oct 2006|06:22pm] |
guess what mom.
I'm sneaking out with a friend to go see a concert
:)
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| okay, don't make fun... please. |
[15 Oct 2006|07:50pm] |
what if when we see eachother again,
it uh... wont work
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[15 Oct 2006|07:54pm] |
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I HATE HOW IT'S COOL TO NEED A TRIP TO THE HEALTH CENTRE(SEXUAL OR MENTAL)
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[15 Oct 2006|07:56pm] |
i hate that little bit that sticks out.
excercises to get rid of that bit there that i can do in my room? :]
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[15 Oct 2006|10:12pm] |
No picture sorry. Every time I tried to find one my computer failed me. I hope ya'll can see the secret in it.
I took a risk today and went and talked to a strange boy. I just plopped down and said hey.
That's really big for me 'cause I don't like talking to guys, they make me nervous.
Guys are basically one of my biggest fears.
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[15 Oct 2006|10:28pm] |
EDIT: why am i not receiving reply notification e-mails anymore? i looked in my settings, but everything was checked off that needs to be? does anyone know what happened? this started like 3 or 4 days ago.
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[15 Oct 2006|11:07pm] |
(I think everyone must be tired of the anorexia and "pro ana" stuff right now. So apologies in advance)
Some of my friends think I am being really brave and not worrying over the fact that my heart is screwing up. Most of them don't even know it is.
I am so pissed off at myself right now because I was so stupid and vain enough to give myself an eating disorder. Its been nearly five years, and my body is still suffering, even after two years of being "better"
I finally gained 10lbs, it took me 2 years. And Yet, I am still ill. My heart scan that is coming up is to determine what permanent damage I have done to myself.
I am so Angry and Ashamed of myself.
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