kailan
Date:	2005-09-26 12:56
Subject:	It burnses us, my precious! ;_;
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	amused

Title: Guardian, Condemned (This is just the prologue. There's five more chapters of this tripe.)
Author: Iztayul Tepes
Fandom: Genso Suikoden II

This fic has since been removed from its original domain, so I'm mainly ripping on it for posterity's sake. I am thoroughly convinced that the author wrote it as some kind of sick joke.

SCORES:
PLOT: 0/5 (It's a rapefic. With GORUDO. SQUICK.)
CHARACTERIZATION: -1/5 (To quote a friend of mine, "I don't think that fat-old-corrupt-politician-on-blue-uniformed-bishounen-captain action mesh too well. But I could just be closeminded." Also, WeepyUke!Matilda Knights make Baby Jeebus convert to Buddhism.)
TECHNICAL: 5/5 (Unlike a lot of badfic I've seen, the author in question actually has a very good writing style. Too bad she wastes it.)
YE TAEK THAE HIGH ROOD AND AE'LL TAEK THAE LOO ROOD: 100/5 ("...And ae'll be in Scotland afoer yeh...")

Suikoden's not exactly an obscure fandom, but it is sort of cultish and limited to a close-knit group of fans, for the most part. At least it was that way until the third installment hit the shelves. Now I happen to like Suikoden III, even if IMO it isn't the strongest part of the series, but Suikoden II is by far my favorite RPG, ever. There's a lot of viable basis for both het and slash pairings in these games, simply because with a few exceptions none of the characters have a defined canon relationship with anyone (not that that's ever stopped some people, but whatever floats your boat).

This particular author started writing fic for the Suikoden fandom about a year ago and gained enough of a following to start a blog-based RP. At first I hadn't paid much attention since she writes about Suikoden III's Southern Defense Force - to be honest, those guys are just not slashable and I'm more of a Yuber/Albert fan at any rate.

But a few months ago, a couple of people started to write parodies of her work. Lovely, lovely wank ensued, to the effect of the author shrieking and whining that it was OMG LIEK SO MEEN!!!11111!!!!WTF!!!11!!PIE!!1 to mock the author and that parody is plagiarism. Among other things.

I'd read the parodies and thought they were hilarious. So I went to read this author's NC-17 fic out of morbid curiosity.

It's like reading a bad romance novel. Angst. And lots of rape. I don't just mean the sexual assault, either.

( There is no curse in Elvish, Entish or the tongues of men for this treachery. )

There's chapter after chapter of this, resolved by OMG TEH HAWT SEX0RZ between Miklotov and Camus, of course, because that's generally the way most of her fics resolve themselves. I'm not even going to comment on the inherent mind-numbing awfulness of this story, save to let you know that for the sake of your sanity you'd be better off reading something like I Want to Have a Tentacle Enema, which was at least written to be awful on purpose.

	lostangelssong
Date:	2003-10-09 11:27
Subject:
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	sick

[crossposted to lostangelssong]

( Cut because it's so farking big )

That's all that needs to be said, really. ^_~

	lostangelssong
Date:	2003-09-03 22:22
Subject:	Xenogears smut frightens me...
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	blah

...especially badly written smut featuring -Rico- of all people.

Title: Mutations
Author: Neo Cactaur
Fandom: Xenogears

SCORES:
PLOT: 0/5 (Master, sir, did you just see my MAD PWP SKILLZ?!)
CHARACTERIZATION: 0/5 (Elly is not a super-ho. And Rico isn't a big green Looove machine either.)
TECHNICAL: 3/5 (Grasp of grammar, basic sentence structure, no author's notes in the middle of the story.)
ANATOMY GOING INTO THE REALMS OF SHEER IMPOSSIBILITY: 7/5

( But just you and I... will find the bad lemons and then... we'll run screaming to the ends of the world... we'll run screaming to the ends... of the world... )

	gritandglitter
Date:	2003-08-08 14:22
Subject:	The first chapter of my Good Charlotte fanfic
Security:	Declassified

http://www.fandomination.net/?mode=fanfic&FanficID=56122

Read and comment here. Be kind!

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-08-01 01:43
Subject:	Pimping the new community
Security:	Declassified

Brought to you by sheep4859 and goldchaosdragon it's

twsers

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-07-29 02:16
Subject:	Introducing the newest Sue species... Puella avrilus. The Avril-Sue!
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	owwwwwww.....
Music:	Gravitation - Shining Collection

Credit goes to Deleterius for spotting this painful Sue.

What is it with Lord of the Rings and bad Mary Sues, anyway?

Title: No Way Back
Author: Losing grip
Fandom: Ring? What ring? Lord of the Rings

SCORES:
PLOT: 1/5 (what little plot there is turns out to be a train wreck)
CHARACTERIZATION: 3/5 (the majority of the LotR characters are actually in character... but gods.. the Sue...)
TECHNICAL: 3/5 (grammar and spell check were once again actually run on this document.. but that saves it not from the purple prose and the song lyrics everywhere)
WANGST-FEST: 10/5 (wangst, wangst, and more wangst just to be different)

( Oh I'm just a sweet turquiose transvestite Transylvanian treasure troll.. oh yeah..... )

	lostangelssong
Date:	2003-07-29 00:31
Subject:	Do -you- want to play Blitzball, little boy?
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	Squicked

Ok, it's been a while since I reviewed anything, since Beth stole the last fic I was going to review. But since my computer glitched out -both- times when I was doing that review, I think my computer saw the evilness of the fic and decided to commit seppuku both times I tried to review it. But I couldn't -help- myself when I found -this- lovely gem on the pit of voles.

Title: A Father's Love
Author: Baka Tenshi
Fandom: Final Fantasy X

SCORES:
PLOT: -2/5 (PWP to the nth power. The negative points are for the squick factor.)
CHARACTERIZATION: -5/5 (This hurts Jecht. Jecht bleeds.)
TECHNICAL: 2/5 (Spelling is ok, but punctuation is atrocious and how many times must we yell at these authors for putting author's notes in the MIDDLE of a story.
EROTICIZATION OF FATHER/SON RELATIONSHIP: 10/5 (Oh daddy -harder-!)

( The Seymour/Tidus rapefics don't even come -close- to touching this )

I think I need to go take a shower now...

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-07-27 18:57
Subject:	By your powers combined...
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	OMGWTFBBQ
Music:	Tekkaman Blade - REASON

Heeeeeeey! **pokes community** Are you guys still alive over there?

I have Sci-Fi and Fantasy Sues to thank for this gem.

Title: Eve of Destruction
Author: OrangeGirlExplosion
Fandom: Captain Planet

SCORES:
PLOT: 2/5 (Even the characters are confused)
CHARACTERIZATION: 4/5 (The Sue is the only character who is really whacked out, but the other have their moments)
TECHNICAL: 4/5 (Grammar and spell check was actually run on this piece. There are some minor errors preventing it from getting a perfect score, but very good overall.)
UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY GOLD MINE: 5/5 (OMGWTFBBQ!!?!???!?1111??!one!??uno?!!)

( What ever happened to toxic chemical spills and radioactive villains? )

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-07-12 13:54
Subject:	Sue-Bashing Goodness
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	SNERK
Music:	Spandau Ballett - Be free with your love

[x-posted between badfic_n_review and marysues]

Just some good old-fashioned Harry Potter Mary-Sue bashing!

Link was yoinked from the thoroughly entertaining Red Draco for the curious.

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-06-17 01:54
Subject:	WRITER'S WORKSHOP: Mary Sue, meet Real Life
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	accomplished
Music:	CHEMISTRY - It Takes Two

Here begins the first of a series of Writing Workshop posts. These are both chances for us Badfic reviewers to vent in a more general way about cliches and annoyances that pop up in badfic and fandom in general, as well as offer tips on how to correct these mistakes so that in general we do start to come off as genuinely constructive, since so many have accused sites like this of "hating."

For the record, nobody at any 'fic reviewing site is any more harsh than anyone else in the business. Professionally done reviews published in newspapers are sometimes more cruel, and I'm not going to even get into the sort of responses you can expect from editors when you try to get published.

( Mary Sue, new and improved? )

	bondageseraph
Date:	2003-06-16 15:48
Subject:	~Once.. at Band Camp..~
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	weird
Music:	Alanis Morissette - Head Over Feet

Title: Adventures of Magus and Chrono's Mom
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=777895
Author: Rufus J. Shinra
http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=10077
Fandom: Chrono Trigger.

Scores
PLOT: 0/5 {Magus walks through town, meets Chrono's mom who proceeds to make him do -housework-. It all goes downhill from -there-}
CHARACTERIZATION: 0/5 {Chrono's mom was able to kick Magus's ass, nuff said.}
TECHNICAL: 0/5 {The only thing that consitutes more then -one- exclamation point is the end of the world and then even -then- it gets annoying. That is only the -icing- on the cake however..}
STIFLER'S MOM FACTOR: 5/5 {Get your sweet American Pie right here...}

( M-Mom....M-Magus? )

	narsilshard
Date:	2003-06-15 21:47
Subject:	Hello!
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	happy

I lurk over at The Mary Sue Report and Godawful Fanfiction, and now I can share the badness with you. ^^

Title: Unseeing Eyes (http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1168931)
Author: Missfizz
Fandom: Lord of the Legomance Rings, supposedly

SCORES
PLOT: 0/5 The Three Hunters come upon Irenna outside of Rohan, causing them to run back to Rivendell. There they ask Gandalf and Elrond about her, and it's discovered she has sooper sekrit powers the Fellowship needs. No explination is given for Gandalf's sudden apearance in Rivendell, or why Legolas would make the desicion to head back there.
CHARACTERIZATION: 0/5 Features AngstyPMSing!Aragorn for the sole purpose of making Legolas look good, and comic relief Gimli.
TECHNICAL: 2/5 Amazing tense switching action! Run-on sentences like whoa! The spelling is good, though.
AUTHOR HONESTY: 5/5 She does admit to not knowing what the hell she's writing about, but that doesn't make it any better.

( Lamest Mary Sue Powers EVER )

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-06-15 18:45
Subject:	Administrative Notices
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	working

In case any of y'all actually surf onto the community page, I did some mucking about with the layout so it looks a little cooler. bondageseraph is also looking into getting the place's layout done by someone with much more professional stuff than I. ^_^

The reviews have been sorted into the memories of the community according to what fandom they're from. All that is now accessible through the front page of the site, just in case any of you would like to revisit an old favorite.

That is all. ^_^

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-06-14 19:49
Subject:	Opinion Poll: Informative articles, anyone?
Security:	Declassified

Slightly OT, but I wanted to get the board's opinion.

What say you to doing a series on specific badfic cliches and why they upset us so much? I was thinking specifically of doing something on the proliferation of loser-punk stereotypes in fanfiction, but it could be anything.

Yeah, this would be partially public service for anyone who happened to surf here for the intention of fixing work. But it also gives us all a good chance to vent. Loudly.

To voice your opinion on the subject, just comment. Readers who aren't members of the community can add their two cents on if they would like to see a series like the one proposed implemented.

Have a nice day, yo. ^_^

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-06-13 02:32
Subject:	So a witch, a goth, and a wiccan walk into a bar...
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	bitchy
Music:	Final Fantasy X - Auron's Theme

Here's yet another wank-tastic fic lifted from The Mary Sue Report for your viewing pleasure. And we've got some more punky Hermione Mary-Sue GOODNESS!

Title: Hermione's Back and She's Gonna Be Trouble
Author: wicca-gurl
Fandom: The Boy Who Probably Wishes He Were Dead About Now Harry Potter

SCORES:
PLOT: 0/5 (typical Mary Sue cliche plot that really had no identifiable conflict)
CHARACTERIZATION: -1/5 (Hermione, the main character, morphs into a stranger and is surrounded by cardboard cut-outs of the rest of the cast)
TECHNICAL: 0/5 (in-text author's notes, bad spelling, bad grammar, and the simple OH GOD, WHY?)
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!: 11/5 (Excuse me while I vomit.)

( She's different just like everybody else... )

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-06-12 18:09
Subject:	And we can run screaming to the end of the world...
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	SNARK ATTACK!
Music:	Titan AE - Like Lovers (holding on)

Remember kids: don't write fanfic for a video game UNLESS YOU'VE BEATEN THE DAMN THING!

Title: Fei's Physical
Author: J. Marie
Fandom: and ye shall be as godsXenogears

SCORES:
Plot: 0/5 (A PWP that also drifts into the realm of Timeline? What Timeline?)
Characterization: 1/5 (Fei's still an idiot, but Citan is out romping the fields of OOC)
Technical: 3/5 (Grammatically and technically correct, but very bland. What's the point of writing fiction when you're not going to even bother with dressing up your language?)
Dr. Love Calling: 10/10 (It's a good thing he doesn't make house calls...)

( Would YOU like to play doctor, little boy? )

	kailan
Date:	2003-05-23 19:54
Subject:	This is OT...
Security:	Declassified

...but my best friend just took one look at the community icon and yelped "OMG, I DREW THAT! YEARS AGO!"

She did, too. Showed me the original in her closet and everything. :P

...nothing to do with anything here except that I found it amusing. Carry on. :D

	sheep4859
Date:	2003-05-14 15:51
Subject:	It's like a half-drabble gone horribly wrong
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	complacent

Title: tears [sic]
Author: kitty
Fandom: Dark Angel

SCORES:
Plot: 0/5 (Yes, it's short, but I've seen far greater amounts of plot put into much shorter pieces. Take, for example, Colin Greenland's eight-word masterpiece of brevity: "Aliens disguised as typewriters? I never heard such--")
Characterization: 2/5 (Yeah, Alec has shown emotion on the show. But he simply isn't prone to this much melodrama. And "Gill Girl" was not even a particularly emotional, teary episode for him. And, futhermore, that episode had more hints of Alec/Asha than Max/Alec. . . . It just doesn't connect to this "story." I do wish 'shippers would get their heads out of the clouds and quit attributing so much pathos to their favorite characters.)
Technical: 1/5 (Comma splices. Either too much semi-random capitalization, or a failure to hit the return key when starting a new line of a poem. Apparent breathe/breath confusion--with something so short, you'd think an author would spend the time to proofread carefully.)
Disturbing overuse of >>>'s as "pretty" section dividers: 10/5

This reads like a fanpoem. And a bad fanpoem (if such a relative adjective applies), at that. The author has also written a full-length fic, but I don't have the nerve to go look at it now--I still have two finals to take, and I'd like to keep my brain functional.

( Read the whole 'fic' here. I think it speaks for itself. )

[Edit: Double post. Whoops. Fixed now.]

	lostangelssong
Date:	2003-05-02 17:43
Subject:	Beware of EVIL Tidus!
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	hot

Yeah, you read that right. Evil Tidus. This is why I don't go hunting around on the pit of voles at 3 am. That, and this fic spawned a VERY weird AIM conversation involving Auron dressed up like the Little Mermaid. But enough of that. Let's get down to business.

Title: Dark Hunter
Author: Evil Cupcake of Doom
Fandom: Final Fantasy X/Final Fantasy 8 (The reason for that will soon be made horribly clear)

SCORES
PLOT: 1/5 (Pulling random characters from other games does NOT constitute a plot)
CHARACTERIZATION: 0/5 (Everyone is OOC. Well, all the canon characters anyway)
TECHNICAL: 3/5 (Aside from some really weird sentence constructions, it's not too bad.)
EVIL TIDUS FACTOR: 8/5

( It has begun! )

	goldchaosdragon
Date:	2003-05-01 21:35
Subject:	Yet another example of Snape getting anally raped by a tampon.. errrr.. fanfic...
Security:	Declassified
Mood:	bitchy
Music:	FFVIII in bg

Let's get one thing straight from the beginning: I'm not a big relationshipper unless there's a canon couple involved. I've actually seen some rather nice Snape/Hermione fanfic posted in miyaka's Blurty. It's the horrible out-of-character and Snape Rape that gets to me..

Here we go again..

Title: Tears in Heaven
Author: Slytherin Girl
Fandom: Harry Potter

SCORES:
PLOT: 1/5 (The idea might have actually amounted to something, but the execution sucked goats)
CHARACTERIZATION: 0/5 (We have yet another Out-Of-Character alert!)
TECHNICAL: 1/5 (Could have been worse, but it could have been much better)
MMMMM... CAKE: 10/5 (Witness Severus Snape fall victim to a simple German Chocolate cake...)

( Where is the real Severus Snape, and what have you done with him? )